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All in the Family - Tips for the Casual Player. Greetings to all my casual brothers and sisters out there in cyber space land-town thing. Seeing as how we here at MDV are a family who all enjoy the same annoying habit, buying cards, I figured I should share with you my own private tips. Today we cover: Excess Cards! Oh noes… Tip 1) Have you ever wondered why your girlfriend beats you up so much? Or maybe why you do not have one? Well it is most likely because you keep leaving those darn annoying water rings on every table in your house! Why not take a handful of your extra cards and use them to make custom coasters! Do you like dragons? Why not a Kilnmouth drink platter? Do you like fairies? Go back to jersey XD How about performance art? Once your coaster has been in use for a few days I guarantee you will see the colors dancing! Not only will that special someone in your life (Most likely your mother…) think your awesome for not destroying her hand polished, hardwood, eighteenth century oak chestnut rosewood coffee table, but she will love your artistic eye for fashionable, um, card coasters! Tip 2) Have you ever tried to hang a picture using a sledgehammer? Or how about turned your heat off in the middle of winter? I know I have, which is why I always keep a good box of extra cards ready for those special times I am in need of drywall! Just a few layers of your favorite cards, a shot of speckle, some paint, and a whole lot of tape and that wall will be just as useless as it was before! I guarantee it! Tip 3) Are you cold? Do you feel out of the fashion loop? Afraid that +5 shirt of Defense will not protect you from the Archmage’s Blizzard ability? Then why not make your own, magic suit! Not only will you be creating the new “Hip thing” but you will be protected from all those pesky frost based attacks. Apart from the weakness to fire you get, there is no downside! And for those “Dark Avengers” out there I have the perfect thing… Magic Man! Able to annoy people by talking about Magic the Gathering endlessly! Bad guys after you? Simply pull out your trusty Boomerang and let it fly. With careful aiming you can take out their left pinky! Want to leap a tall building? Simply cast Flight on yourself and jump! With some luck you will be able to clear even the smallest of shrubberies! About to die in a horrible death scene involving a train? Sucks to be you! Tip 4) Have you ever wanted to give someone your “business card” but remembered you were a loser who didn’t have them? Do you sometimes forget where you live? Have you ever wondered how awesome it would be to carry around useless slips of cardboard that you give to other people, for free? Me neither! But now I have, and boy do I have a tip for you! Simply grab a handful of your extra cards write any important detail on them such as your name, phone number, address, age, social security number, alarm code key, bank account number, gender, list of all your fears, and a time in which you will be unsuspecting of any and all attacks and start throwing those things out like candy! Cashier at Wal-Mart needs to know your age? Toss them a few of your info cards. Hot woman at the bar eying the guy next to you up? Call me! Business partners walking by on the way to a meeting? Let them know you exist and are unique! Relative forgot your name for the third time this week? Remind them forever by smashing your new info cards right into their faces! Tip 5) Do you have annoying and/or ugly neighbors that do not give you free pies everyday? Then why not set up your own Magic Privacy Fence! Simply take the big box of loose cards you have under your bed, grab some glue, a hammer, a megaphone, two squirrels, some loose wire, and a chain-link fence and get to work. After a long hard day of work chasing squirrels, gluing them to a fence, and force feeding them left over speckle, I know you will be dying for some of that free pie I mentioned! Don’t fret, for it is simply on the other side of that awesome steel wall fence you built! Simply call Magic Man for assistance and he will throw you over it so that you may land very hard on your neighbor’s rosebush! When you arrive, don’t forget to offer them an info card so that they know you are who you say you are! And above all, do not forget to use a coaster!!!! That’s all for today kids! Next time join me for another great issue of the Daily Blog, because we all need to be forced to read about our own mistakes every once and a while! And remember, stay out of my room!!!! -Xan To leave feeback for me in the MDV Forums, please follow this link. This entry was posted on Monday, December 3rd, 2007 at 11:04 pm and is filed under MDV General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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