Oh Tuesday, the day that is arguably one of the craziest days of the week. It is on Tuesdays that you sit down and start to write your list, planning the rest of your week out and settling down to work on that list.

Tuesdays in the Writer's Guild are no different. This is the day that we are supposed to start getting our work in for next week so it can be worked over by the editors. In other words, Tuesday is the day that Tynion starts yelling at us because we are all incompetent slackers. This past Tuesday was no exception…

I woke up this morning with a groan. Incomprehensible thoughts containing the words: shower, breakfast, alarm clock, and hammer (yes, those last two come up together a lot) float through my foggy brain. I get up, take my shower, brush my teeth, and grab breakfast as I sprint out the door. I should seriously have a word with the [Order] about their claims of not needing to deal with any of these things anymore.

The doors of the Guild slam together close on my heels, almost taking of my foot. Cursing, I don't break my stride dashing to my office in the hopes that no one will catch me showing up late. For those of you who don't know who I am, I'm one of the newbies of the Writer's Guild. I am ironically a child of the Writers’ strike of this past January. When the Guild felt that they were not receiving feedback from their readers and went on strike to emphasize their point, I was one of those who spoke up in response. After the strike was ended I was invited join the ranks of those who I had praised in my editorial. So in other words, I had better hold my end up, and I'm pretty sure being late doesn't help that cause.

I finally make it to my tiny office. Why is it that I get this tiny little hole in the wall while all of the older writers get their nice luxurious plush conference rooms? Tynion gets his huge comfortable leather chair from which he can yell at us all. Luther gets his dark, dank office (his preference) where he can smoke his cigars in peace. Mal… well, we're not going to talk about what Mal has in his office, but let’s just say that it's what he wants. Meanwhile, I'm stuck with my dinky little desk, my wobbly stool, and my computer which is probably older and has more dust than the article archives. Oh, to be the youngling.

With thoughts of newbies on my mind, I decide to go catch up with hamsandwich. I find him at the water cooler outside of Streetz's office and we compare notes on how to deflect Tynion when he "gets his rant on." Luther happens to walk by so we quickly switch over to a less conspicuous topic. Only in these halls is card choice and tempo a less conspicuous topic. It's not that I have anything against Luther, he is actually one of the people who nominated me for the Guild and also served as my clan leader for a time, it's just that in these halls you can never be sure who is really who, and I wouldn't put it above Tynion to set spies roaming the halls to keep an eye on us.

Just as I am finishing up my conversation I hear a voice. "Son of a b—Daz!" Uh oh, what did I do now? I quickly run into Tynion's office. I take a small moment of glee as he jumps. Obviously he didn't expect me to be right there so fast. I repress the urge to snicker, he is my boss after all.

"Yes sir?!"

"I need a rag, a big one. This damn coffee spilled everywhere in here…."

Augh, why is it always me? Why couldn't he have Ryu do it, that kid is pretty much on speed. I think he actually has coffee running through his veins, this is something he should deal with. Oh well, just accept it without Tynion figuring out what you are thinking right now.

"Sure thing Tyn, but why me?"

Oops.

"That's a good man. Hurry back with that rag." He walks past me as if he hadn't heard me. I follow for a few steps until I realize he is just ignoring me.

*Sigh* I walk down the hallway towards the maintenance closet, pausing only to drop the daily donut on the water cooler for hamsandwich. The poor guy has been standing there for almost a month now, apparently unable to move. He’ll get used to the crowd eventually. It’s scary at first, but once you start to figure everyone out it starts to make some sense. I figure until then, dropping a donut and giving him a kind word is the least I can do. By this time I’ve reached the closet so I grab a rag (which looks suspiciously like a tiny t-shirt; mental note: Stay away from Mal…) and head back to Tynion’s office.

As I open the door I’m greeted by the usual sounds of a rant. Tynion is in fine form today, with Ryu, Luther, and Mal in a lineup as he just moves down the row. I wait while he finishes up with Luther, but then as he turns back to Ryu for a second round I decide to interject.

“Excuse me Tyn, can you take this rag…?” He spins around and glares at me. Ah why not, I figure I’m already going to get yelled at so I might as well go for the gold. “I also would like to know why you yelled at me.” Wow… I’ve never seen someone’s eyes bug that far out of their head… priceless!

“Will someone who is well versed with the Guild please explain to Daz why the new guy gets called on to do the crap jobs? Perhaps someone well versed with sharp knives as well?” Mal steps foreword, and I quickly retreat out the door and head back towards my office. As I walk in, however, I don’t sit down but instead pick up a stack of tomes and carry them out the door and down the hall.

The Article Archives is one of the strangest areas of the Guild. It is full of information and everyone knows about them, but for some reason no one ever goes to visit them; no one except me, that is. Ever since I became interested in writing for MDV I have tracked my favorite series and authors back through the archives, reading diligently through the works. I’ve spent so much time down there that I have even found my own secret entrance which I’m pretty sure even Ryu with his cameras doesn’t know about.

As I enter through the false wall panel I flick on the light and glance at the shelves. My eyes roam back and forth across the spines, pausing at each of the five gaps that have just started collecting dust. I gently place a book from the pile in my arms in each of the gaps. After moving the dust around to conceal the fact that I had “borrowed” those books to make my own personal copies of, I step back to admire my handiwork.

The sound of a key clicking in the lock startles me back to reality. I guess I’m not the only one to come down here after all…. I quickly flick the light switch off and dive into the shadows in the corner. The light flicks on and as I sit there wondering who would be joining me down in this dusty tomb, I hear the voices of Luther and Tynion. Oh god, I hope he isn’t here to yell at me for my earlier remark![i] Instead I head Tynion’s voice:

“…Obviously not every article is worth its weigh on gold, but most of them received positive feedback and were enjoyable reads, however Streetz ended up just locking the door as no one ever comes down here.”

Ha, that’s what HE thinks…. “He figured, ‘Why keep it unlocked? No one comes down here anyways.’ Pretty sad. Come this way.”

With that comment the two of them walk down the aisles and their voices fade away. After sitting in the dark for a couple of minutes (they turned the lights out again) I gently untangle myself from the cobwebs and return to the shelves. Sure, not everything is worth its weight in gold, but these five are… I slowly trace the five books that I regard as the top five works every to be published on MDV. Each has brought a new type of style and outlook to their writing, and I hope that more works like them will arrive in the future.

Dazboot’s Top 5 Works of MDV

5. P9 vs. F9 by Luthervamplord and Casual Violence

One of the first multi-author articles ever published by MDV, the P9 vs. F9 is a favorite of mine for two reasons. First off, its content. History of magic cards is something that any good player should know. I don’t care if you are a Limited player, a casual player, or a tournament player, you should know your stuff. I’m not saying that you have to memorize facts of old deck lists or know every card ever printed, but when you get a chance to read up on something that you were not around to experience, check it out! It can’t hurt.

Secondly, this is the only article I have ever seen that has been sponsored and presented by a clan. While I am currently a member of the Lorehold, I was not at the time of this being published. As such, I don’t know exactly how much the clan worked as a whole to develop this article, but I think the idea is something that should be pursued again in the future. The ideas of many summarized in one article can be a powerful piece with lots of depth, and will do wonders to explore all aspects of one topic.

4. The Apprentice Magician by Amadeus

This second tome is actually a combined anthology of the complete works of Amadeus detailing “The Apprentice Magician.” Amadeus does an amazing job of taking some rather complex theories of magic game play and making them simple and easy to understand. The adventures of Dave and Sam make even my friend Ian, who has played for years and is only just now starting to figure out how to build decks that win, understand. Amadeus has hinted that he is not done with this series, and I sincerely hope for all of our sake that that is the case.

3. The Duel* of the Brownies by Ryuzaki and Maleficent

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am not quite sure what to say about this piece. This is half deck design, half general Limited information, and half just straight up ridiculous comedy (for those of you math people out there, three halves DO make a whole if you squeeze them tight enough). The writing is funny and easy to follow, and yet still full of informative material to keep you engaged. I’m not sure who paired these two together in the mini article design process, but it was a good fit.

2. Memories of an Old Magic Player Part 6: The Balancing Effect by Chris Newton (Tynion)

For all the hard times I just gave Tynion up above, he really is a great writer. He has been there since just about the beginning and is happy to share his knowledge with anyone who is willing to listen (and even to a few who aren’t). I’m sure many of you have read his recent Memories of an Old Magic Player eight part article detailing his participation in an tournament round by round, but I encourage you to go look back at some of the older MOMP works. They are great reads in a story-telling perspective that let you trace out some of the primal roots of Magic.

1. Words From the Streetz: The Writers Guild of MDV is on Strike by Streetz

This final tome is not in fact an article, but a series of new clippings. It is a tricky one to explain, because it’s more complicated than just this one piece. The Writer’s Guild Strike was something that greatly influenced Magic Deck Vortex and many of its members. I still remember when I logged on than January morning (It was a Tuesday!) and just staring a shock at the words on my screen. The responses were quickly pouring in, ranging from disbelief to disgust to full blown outrage. It was the most response I had ever seen in the forums. People who had read the site for years but never signed up did so just to post their feelings and thoughts.

The strike itself does not bear repeating, but the level of responses and energy around it is something I hope that can happen again. Both hamsandwich and I are writers now because of it, and many people have been made more aware of the workings of MDV. If we could find other ways to achieve that response again I say we should move full steam toward them.

As I closed the last tomb and checked my watch I jumped with a start. I’d been down here reading for six hours! I still had a bunch of work I had to get done and at this rate there would still be some that spilled over into tomorrow. And there is only one thing worse than rushing to get your work done on a Tuesday, and that’s getting it done on Wednesday! If you never see anything else published by me and I disappear from the forums forever, just assume that Tynion caught me and gave me to Mal….

And I’m off!

~Daz

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Articles Spotlights from 2008:
A Fresh Perspective: Stasis - Part One.
The Apprentice Magician - Part Six.
Design on a Dime: The Lunch Meat Edition!
Fit the Flavor 2008 - FINALE!
The Games People Play - Market & EDH.
Sarpadian Empires, Vol VII: Foreword.
More Evil Than Evil.
Pauper Chronicles: Top O' the Morningtide to You!
Words from the Streetz: Uncommon and Common Magical Treasures.
The Writers Guild: The Inside Scoop.