Welcome back. In this, the second part of my Theory of Discardability, we will focus on the true facet of the strength of the theory: Mental warfare.

Grab yourself a drink, perhaps a ham sandwich—maybe with cheese—and take a load off for a little while. You need to relax and free your mind in order to grasp the theory and take it all in.

I’ll see you inside.

When you find yourself on the receiving end of a discard assault, what do you begin to notice?

You notice that all of your good spells are in the graveyard, while your opponent is only putting cards that serve no other purpose than causing a discard into his graveyard. Your win conditions have been terminated by a bunch of utility cards, meaning whatever he is planning to kill you with has not been expended in the process of crippling you.

At this point, you have two separate trains of thought possible. Either cast your threats as they come and hope that he can not deal with a permanent once it hits the table, or hold onto the cards with the hope that he runs out of discard steam, in which case you are normally discarding the following turn.

I have learned two different ways of looking at what is happening here.

The first came from my old football days. I learned that the main objective of many positions on defense is a mindset called “Read and React,” which simply means you put yourself into a position where all you do is sit and wait. When your opponent makes a move, you read what he just did, determine what he is going to do by that move, and then react in the best way to stop whatever it is you know is coming. For example, a linebacker will get into his stance and stare at the offensive guard (the guy next to the center—the center is the guy who snaps the ball) and watch only his first step. If the guard steps forward, it means that a running play is coming which more than not likely is coming to that guard’s side of the field. If the guard steps straight backwards, it is a pass play, and if the guard takes a lateral step towards the center, it is a running play going to the opposite side of the field. Whichever scenario happens, the linebacker knows in one movement where he needs to go, what to do, and which angle of pursuit he needs to take in order to stop what is coming.

The other way came to me when I was getting schooled by a chess shark one fine sunny afternoon. He of course led me into thinking he was an alright player at best, and then revealed himself to be much more (much better than me in fact). During the course of the game, I saw the inevitability of the train wreck coming at me and I didn’t even have a chance to stop it, however, what I knew I could do was get a single pawn to the end of the board and get my queen back. To me, if I could do that, I won a small battle. When he figured out what I was doing he told me, “Man, I am driving this bus, not you.”

After watching my pawn get killed, followed by my king, I spent some time talking to him a about chess in general and this concept of “him driving the bus.” He explained to me that as long as he is in control of the game, all I can do is react to what he is doing, therefore I am not a threat to him. I am doing nothing aggressive; I am purely defending my king. This opens up the board to him as he can just continually put me in check, and each time I am in check, I must get my king out of check, which means I in turn cannot attack his king.

In both scenarios, the Discardability Theory removes that from you. You cannot assault me, as you can only play the cards you draw, and you must play them immediately or discard them. Further, I always have a creature kill card in hand, so your threats are immediately neutralized. Next, you cannot try to read and react because if you wait to read, you lose your threats. In essence, I am driving the bus. You must sit on the bus and try to figure out how to first get off of the bus before you can be a threat to me.

If you read my article series recently detailing my trip through a State Championship Tournament, you saw from my perspective how I was able to use my charisma and charm to get some of the players out of their game before we even shuffled a single card. This is something that a lot of players use to their advantage. Some players are just easily intimidated. I can remember a lot of times when I would play at my local card store that when pairings were announced I was already a winner because when they announced, “Table 4, So-and-So and Newton,” those opponents would outwardly sigh, pout, or even complain about the pairing. My notoriety preceded me, and these people were mentally out of the game before we even took the decks out of the containers.

This is not a brag session; this is a lesson in the mental warfare of Magic. This is the reality of what can not be taught to you by sitting around and learning the game from your buddies and getting combos on the net.

How many times have you played a Friday Night Magic, found yourself paired with a guy that had never been to your store before, and when he sat down, he started riffle shuffling like he was David Copperfield? What ran through your head right then?

“Oh crap, this guy must be good because he has shuffled a lot to be able to do that.”

Have you ever had someone walk up to you and challenge you to an ante game? I have, and that guy was standing up, shuffling the cards in mid-air. I was not intimidated by him, but I was smart enough to know that you don’t challenge someone to an ante game unless you are going to win. However, the fact that he did not have a surface and was riffle shuffling would have been enough to unnerve someone who was less experienced than a grizzled, ten year vet.

So where am I going with this?

Right to the point. The fact that you took your time to create your deck to do a certain purpose with certain cards at a certain pace means that you expect certain results. You know that your game will be slowed down by Control, but you can slowly overcome it if you persevere. You know an Aggro deck will come straight at you and you need to either plow through it or divert the attack then pound it.

But what do you do when 50% of your cards are effectively blank? Keep in mind that around 30-40% of your deck is land. What is a Giant Growth going to do if you have zero creatures in play? What good is a Shock if your opponent is at 20 and he has zero creatures in play? What about a land draw when you have seven lands in play and zero spells in hand?

This is the result of my Discardability Theory. That is exactly what the theory is intended to do. It is not a deck build, it is a deck type combined with a knowledgeable player.

Before I go any further, I need to present you with another deck style that comes close to what I am suggesting, which is building a deck that puts your opponent in a situation which they are not prepared for. The deck type is called Ponza.

Contrary to popular belief, Ponza is not Aggro, and it is not Land Destruction. It is a deck designed to put the game state in a position where you and your opponent have very few resources, no hand, and only the top of your library as a place of hope. Those playing Ponza commit to that situation because they designed their deck to always give them the best top deck. Their next card draw will always be better than your next draw. Why? Because their deck is designed to operate with the limited resources available and to continue crippling your resources during the said scenario.

Ponza is typically mono-Red, and thrives with cards like Wildfire. It loves to have both players sitting around for long periods of time with two or three lands each, empty hands, and top deck skills at a premium. When an opponent draws a land, they are not casting anything, which is a Time Walk for Ponza. When they draw a spell that they can not afford, that is a Time Walk for Ponza.

All the while, Ponza continues to draw cheap but effective cards like Incinerate, Stone Rain, Ball Lightning, and the ilk. Jaya Ballard would be a perfect creature for Ponza. It would sit there and turn those potentially wasted card draws into more Incinerates to punish a weakened foe.

Now that you have a feel for what I mean by a deck style and knowledgeable player, let’s get into what I mean with this deck style.

Combined with the normal casting of spells and my discard spells, the game state will quickly turn into this:

Me: Two to four cards in hand. Four to five lands in play. Card drawing creature in play.

Opponent: No cards in hand. Five or so lands in play. No creatures in play.

At that point, it is very similar to Ponza in that it becomes a top deck battle. The difference is that depending on whether or not you use Blue or another compliment color, you have to answer the few threats that get presented in a different way. Blue allows for the mighty Spell Burst to continue countering small spells. Red lets you keep drawing direct damage and some efficient, low casting cost creatures. Green and White might not be the best here, however White allows Wrath of God to up your Damnation count beyond four.

You really need to have a source of card draw in order to keep the pressure on an opponent’s hand. Graveborn Muse, Merfolk Looter, and Dark Confidant are likely creatures. I personally like Dimir Cutpurse if you feel you can protect him, as he gets you cards and helps the discard pressure.

Draw a card, pass turn. They draw a card, play a land, pass turn. Draw a card, play your land, pass turn. They draw a card, tap to cast a small creature which is not countered and then pass turn. You draw a card, kill the creature and pass the turn. They draw a card and pass the turn. You draw a card, force a discard and then pass the turn. Etc.

You can see how the game totally changes perspective. It becomes a one-card-at-a-time domination rather than dealing with an entire deck. It is now my deck versus any one card you have in your deck. I challenge you to find a card to break the hold by itself. There are some obvious cards like the anti-discard family. Cards like True Believer and Ivory Mask will definitely stop the assault. Also, decks that heavily utilize the graveyard are threats. Haakon himself is a problem.

The point is that under normal circumstances, once you are in that situation, you really are hamstrung. Want to tighten the tunicate? Toss The Rack on the table and say you are finished.

Now they are in a position where they really want to hold cards back. My old buddy Patrick used to tell me that The Rack was worse than Black Vise because you could theoretically escape the Vise by mana dumping spells. The Rack requires three unprotected turns to escape. Folks, how many of you want to cast Time Walk and target your opponent three turns in a row? Because that is what it is.

To bring this article completely back to the beginning, the Theory puts your opponent into a mental game with you. “Can I hold this card one more turn? Does he have another Charm? Is he holding a Smother for my True Believer? Will he counter my Compulsive Research?” While all of this mental debating is happening, you just sit in your chair, staring at the cards in play, pretending to have his entire game planned out and how he really has zero chance to win.

Want some tips on winning the mental game? Here you go.

1.) Wait until your opponent is in thought about a play. Make certain it is a critical point in the game. Begin to arch your neck as if you are looking for something on your opponent’s side of the board, and look obvious about it. Then, ask your opponent to spread his graveyard out. Take a good look at the cards, count them up, cross reference them with the cards in play and then think for a moment.

Or better yet, ask him to count his library….

2.) Guess at your opponent’s draws, but do it accurately. You can pretty much guess at the quantity of cards he is playing. You will get to know the deck as you are playing it. If it has been a while since he drew an Angel, guess… “Angel!” and then let him draw his card. It lets him know you are paying attention and makes you look smarter.

3.) Understand that typically, every third card drawn will most likely be a land. Mathematically, this should be accurate in all decks, as if you are playing 60 cards and 20 are lands, you are playing 1/3 of your deck as lands. We normally play around 23 to 26 lands, depending on our deck’s type. This is more than 1/3 but due to inaccurate shuffling and the resulting clumping of lands in the deck, this should typically still hold true. Therefore you know that your opponent has seven cards in hand, and will draw his eighth on turn one (or two if he went first). When you end that next turn and he is getting ready to draw his ninth card, finish off your turn by saying, “Done, and good luck with that land.” Imagine his surprise when he untaps and draws the predicted land.

“Did he… set my deck when I wasn’t looking?”

To further this one, play a Millstone and pay attention to your opponent drawing a card putting it directly into play, revealing that he just drew a land. You know the next two cards are probably spells. Mill those two cards, and let him draw a land again. He will catch on….

4.) Never play with the cards in your hand actually in your hand. Draw your card, look at it, and set it on the pile of cards in front of you that is your hand pile. This tells your opponent many things. You have a good memory. You have played the game a lot. You can probably count cards. You are a good player. Let him fool himself into being intimidated.

5.) Learn to shuffle. Shuffling like a pro is very intimidating to an average guy. If you can riffle shuffle fast, separate your cards quickly in piles, pull them up, and then riffle them again as fast as pros can, you will give an aura of being good.

6.) Dress like you are good. Don’t show up looking like a slob. Show up to the tournament in a polo shirt, a pair of jeans, and have a watch. Don’t have a decorated box, don’t have a trade binder full of crap rares, and don’t slouch when you sit or walk. Act the part of someone who is proud, strong, and has confidence in his/her skills. Oh, and leave the jewelry and face make-up at home.

7.) Look a man in the eye when you talk. Also, look the man in the eye when he is talking. Don’t wear a hat, or anything that could block your eyes. When he speaks, look at him, don’t stare, but look him in the eye. Same as when you talk. Show him who the more confident player is sitting at this table.

8.) Shake their hand like a man. Do not offer a weak hand shake. Do not accept a weak hand shake. If they offer a sloppy one, you take their hand and shake it with a firm grip. This is the only physical contact you are permitted with an opponent, so take advantage and show him who the dominant player is. Also, always shake their hand. Do it before the game and after the game, regardless of the outcome. This should always be how it is.

9.) Learn your opponent’s name. When you address him, say his name. “Bob, you forgot to untap that land.”

10.) Speak clearly and pronounced. While you are sitting up straight in your chair, your lungs are not kinked up, and you can project your voice. Speak through your opponent’s head, but not screaming. Just make certain he knows that when you speak, he is going to hear it.

11.) Never let an opponent see you sweat. Have good hygiene. This might seem insulting to some, but take a shower, clean yourself up, and have a clean and strong outward projection of yourself. This includes tightening up your facial hair. Trim your mustache, take clippers to your sides if you have them, trim your beard, and look presentable. Nothing makes me happier then playing a game with a guy who can’t master a razor. If you can’t clip your hair, you certainly cannot out-think me.

Finally…

12.) Never give your opponent one ounce of information. Do not drop your hand, never let him see your top card, never let him accidentally see a morphed creature’s face. Always make him use his resources to get an edge. On the other hand, if he tips his hand, look and keep a mental note. If you can see the cards being drawn because he can’t hold his hand level, then it is on him. I am here to win the game, not be your friend. It is not my fault that you are intimidated by me and every time you move, you almost fall out of the chair with your nervous tremors.

Yes folks, I have used these tactics, and if you come across anyone of lesser intelligence than you, these work, and so too does my Theory of Discardability.

The Magic world has restricted our ability to physically strike our opponents, but it doesn’t care if we mentally assault them. Winning the game is about what is between the ears, not the cardboard between the fingers.

-cpn

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The Games People Play - Market & EDH.
More Evil Than Evil.
Pauper Chronicles: Top O' the Morningtide to You!
Sarpadian Empires, Vol VII: Foreword.
Words from the Streetz: Uncommon and Common Magical Treasures.
The Writers Guild: The Inside Scoop.