If you remember, I covered Red back in Morningtide, and my basis for grading the cards was this statement:

"Even though I am a Blue mage first, I have a side of me that craves the old school burn of Red. I am not a fan of paying R for two damage. I need that third point to be satisfied. So each time a new set comes out, I find myself hoping and praying that I get that third point of damage back.

Does Morningtide provide that lusted over point of damage? Let's take a look together and find out..."

I then ended the article with this conclusion:

"After watching American Idol last night, I am reminded of something that Simon told a few of the try-outs: "Your song was very forgettable." There are so many cards in this chunk of Morningtide that are very forgettable. I don't even remember half the names of the creatures and I just reviewed them. I remember Shard Volley, Titan's Revenge, Moogie! and Lightning Crafter. That is not a good sign of a good set. I am sure there are other good cards in Red, but without going back through and getting the, "Oh yea!" factor, I would not ever remember them.

I'd say Red is still lacking that third point of damage I was looking for. Lightning Crafter and Shard Volley give me three points, but I have to bend over backwards to get it. I don't usually like bending over backwards, and these cards do not inspire me to do so."

My Impression of Morningtide Red was a big, fat, red "X."

It just wasn't getting me excited and I thought that it lacked that extra point I really wanted back.

I thought it would be in my best interest to continue using the same standard. Am I getting that last point of damage for the amount of mana I'm paying? The number of direct damage spells remain the same, but the amount of water added to the fire has really left my camp fire cooled. I like to be warm at night while sleeping under the stars. I need to know that I won't wake up in the middle of the night with my teeth chattering. I NEEEEEEED my Lightning Bolt to give me three damage, not two.

Let's see what Shadowmoor has to offer. Can it meet my personal standard, or does it fall short like Morningtide?

Blistering Dieflyn - 3R
Creature - Imp (C)
Flying
(B/R): Blistering Dieflyn gets +1/+0 until end of turn.
0/1

In Dungeons & Dragons, Imps always used to tick me off. They really didn't do anything except get in the way and be annoying. This creature certainly does continue in the legacy of not doing anything, but paying four mana for a guy that does nothing and requires a hefty investment to become annoying does not make for a good start for Shadowmoor.

By the way, check out my new scoring system this time around and let me know if you like it or not.

Grade: D — It has evasion for a Limited Player (Red: -1 Overall)

Bloodmark Mentor - 1R
Creature - Goblin Warrior (U)
Red creatures you control have first strike.
1/1

Wow, hello there little fella, where have you been all of Sligh's life? Talk about your all time Flagbearer. This guy walks around with a huge neon sign, arrow pointing at his head and all, which reads, "KILL ME NOW OR YOU'RE NEXT!" Thinking as a Control player, I can't believe I have to spend a counter on a 1/1 Goblin.

Grade: A (Red: -/+0 Overall)

Bloodshed Fever - R
Enchantment - Aura (C)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature attacks each turn if able.

Well, thank God it is a common first. Second, it is a good method of making someone use their mana creatures every turn or attack with them, and we all know what happens to attacking mana creatures, except Llanowar Elves (we all know that an attacking Llanowar Elf is actually a 4/4, right?). It is a slaughterfest. Too bad that all they have to do is either keep tapping the creature for mana to avoid the card completely or bounce the creature and recast it. In either case, doesn't that mean that this was a wasted card slot and Virtual Card DISadvantage for you?

Grade: P.o.C. — Piece of... (Red: -1 Overall)

Boggart Arsonists - 2R
Creature - Goblin Rogue (C)
Plainswalk
2R, Sacrifice Boggart Arsonists: Destroy target Scarecrow or Plains.
The Aurora transformed Nibb and Gyik from mischief-makers into feral marauders. They still don't know much about tool safety.
2/1

Hey look guys! Another combo for Prismatic Omen! Right guys? Guys? Oh right, they have to control the Omen... yea well, who won't have one in play?

Fear my Arsonists!! If you dare cast that Omen, I swear I will plainswalk you!!!! Laugh now, but I will smite you with my Arsonists, and if you think about offing him, I will burn down that Plains right there! The one called Island!

Grade: C- — Just kidding, he is alright at best. (Red: -2 Overall)

Burn Trail - 3R
Sorcery (C)
Burn Trail deals 3 damage to target creature or player.
Conspire (As you play this spell, you may tap two untapped creatures you control that share a color with it. When you do, copy it and you may choose a new target for the copy.)

See, this is exactly what I am talking about. Don't make me pay more mana for a direct damage spell that doesn't even give me damage equal to the mana spent. Sure, sure, I could copy it with two tapped Red creatures, but the dog gone spell is a sorcery, which means I can't attack you with those now tapped Goblins! Further, how often do you actually see two Red creatures in play that are not already tapped? Don't Red creatures begin the turn tapped and in the combat step waiting for you?

Grade: B — Here you go Limited players, another bad spell that you can use because it is all you have. (Red: -3 Overall)

Cragganwick Cremator - 2RR
Creature - Giant Shaman (R)
When Cragganwick Cremator comes into play, discard a card at random. If you discard a creature card this way, Cragganwick Cremator deals damage to target player equal to the discarded creature card's power.
Each night that his bowl fills, a village mourns.
5/4

Oooh, look at that. An improved Balduvian Horde. Back in my day I used to pummel guys with the Horde like it was my job, so being able to discard your second copy of the Horde (which is usually what happened, stupid Horde) and dealing five damage to my opponent's face for it is pretty good. I like it!

Grade: B- — Most other guys won't like it like I do. (Red: -2 Overall)

Crimson Wisps - R
Instant (C)
Target creature becomes red and gains haste until end of turn.
Draw a card.

Thanks for the useless cantrip. Why don't you just say:

Crimson Wisps - R
Instant (C)
Does nothing.
R Cycling

Grade: F — Big, Fat F. (Red: -3 Overall)

Deep-Slumber Titan - 2RR
Creature - Giant Warrior (R)
Deep-Slumber Titan comes into play tapped.
Deep-Slumber Titan doesn't untap during your untap step.
Whenever Deep-Slumber Titan is dealt damage, untap it.
Do not disturb.
7/7

Speaking of fat, look at the size of the hams on that one. WOW! Let me be the first to call it, there is going to be a nasty deck with Red board sweeping coming where this Titan is awake and very ticked off that he has been awakened.

When he gets up, look out! He will come at me like my mom when I was bouncing the ball off of the wall while she was sleeping that one day. Yikes!

Grade: A (Red: -2 Overall)

Elemental Mastery - 3R
Enchantment - Aura (R)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has "T: Put X 1/1 red Elemental creature tokens with haste into play, where X is this creature's power. Remove them from the game at end of turn."

Dang! Normally, I don't like Auras because they just get the creature killed. However, this one looks good just for the "one and done" effect it could have. Imagine that you had a creature in play, and for kicks and giggles, let's call it a Nova Chaser. You put it into play last turn and now you are ready to cast a certain aura during the following turn. Set this bad boy on top of the Nova Chaser, put ten 1/1 Red Elementals into play with haste, and send those bad boys into the opponent's ranks. Who said that Nova Chaser doesn't have trample? Now he has scatter!!

Grade: B+ (Red: -1 Overall)

Ember Gale - 3R
Sorcery (C)
Creatures target player controls can't block this turn.
Ember Gale Deals 1 damage to each white and/or blue creature that player controls.

The end is near. I think I just heard the Large Lady warming up her vocal chords. You can't block, and I just made ten 1/1 Red Elementals. Oh, and those Merfolk, they all die. Same with those Kithkin. I am attacking you now. Shake my hand.

Grade: B (Red: -/+0 Overall)

Flame Javelin - (2/R)(2/R)(2/R)
Instant (U)
Flame Javelin deals 4 damage to target creature or player.

Holy Moly, Red's overall score finally is out of the negatives, and I just spilled the rest of my Crunch and Munch as I reached for the keyboard to type this message. Sorry to steal the review from you Javelin, but this is important stuff here. That was the last of the box! I have no more Crunch and Munch, except for what is on my shirt and on the floor. I am livid! What a damn moron I am. There goes my lunch.

Yea, yea, the Javelin is good, better than Char, and is Island and Forest friendly. Damn it!

Grade: A+ (Red: +1 Overall)

Furystoke Giant - 3RR
Creature - Giant Warrior (R)
When Furystoke Giant comes into play, each other creature you control gains "T: This creature deals 2 damage to target creature or player" until end of turn.
Persist
3/3

Well, maybe they should have given the Giant haste so he could use his own ability? I am not sold on this, except to continue my deadly combo, I just cast an Elemental Blessing on my Nova Chaser, and then I played my Furystoke Giant, and now I tap those ten 1/1 Elementals and kill you. All for a low, low price of nine mana. Where is Mana Flare when I really need it? Seething Song?

Grade: C — Situational, combo reliant. (Red: +1 Overall)

Horde of Boggarts - 3R
Creature - Goblin (U)
Horde of Boggarts's power and toughness are each equal to the number of red permanents you control.
Horde of Boggarts can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.
*/*

Ha, speaking Hordes... how many Red creatures can I get in play before you Wrath of God, or something equally as bad, to make this guy actually attractive? I need three other Red permanents to make it become viable. I guess when I have my Nova Chaser with Elemental Blessing and Furystoke Giant sitting next to those guys, I can cast this and make it a 4/4 for four mana. Then again, I could just tap the Nova Chaser and make ten 1/1 Red Elementals and make my Horde a 14/14 creature. Then I would just tap the Elementals and deal 20 damage to you and kill you again.

Grade: D — For, "Dog gone Goblins took Red out of the positives." (Red: -/+0 Overall)

Inescapable Brute - 5R
Creature - Giant Warrior (C)
Wither
Inescapable Brute must be blocked if able.
3/3

Thanks for making me pay six mana for a creature that will never see the light of day. I know what you are thinking, I could make the Birds of Paradises block. Wrong, they will be tapped. Even provoke couldn't kill a dog gone Bird. They are truly inescapable. The Brute can't seem to escape the commons box. The only time you will see him is if Beebles finds him and puts him in a Raiding the Dollar Binds article, but since he will never reach a dollar in price, you probably won't even see it then.

Grade: F — For garbage. (Red: -1 Overall)

Intimidator Initiate - R
Creature - Goblin Shaman (C)
Whenever you play a red spell, you may pay 1. If you do, target creature can't block this turn.
1/1

Very meh. It's alright. I don't have a negative for him, nor a positive. Just ok.

Grade: Very C (Red: -1 Overall)

Jaws of Stone - 5R
Sorcery (U)
Jaws of Stone deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of target creatures and/or players, where X is the number of Mountains you control as you play Jaws of Stone.
When giants find their mountain homes infested, they have a whole range of solutions.

Now that is what I am talking about! Where is my Prismatic Omen? I need it for a minute.

Grade: A (Red: -/+0 Overall)

Knollspine Dragon - 5RR
Creature - Dragon (R)
Flying
When Knollspine Dragon comes into play, you may discard your hand and draw cards equal to the damage dealt to target opponent this turn.
7/5

Wow, a beating for sure. Use a handy-dandy Goblin horde to peck my opponent half to death, then tap down and bring in the ELBOW! I'll get a fresh hand and watch you deal with a flying 7/5. I'll take it.

Grade: B+ (Red: +1 Overall)

Knollspine Invocation - 1RR
Enchantment (R)
X, Discard a card with converted mana cost X: Knollspine Invocation deals X damage to target creature or player.
Witches tempted by the power of flame gathered to study in the ruins of Spinerock Knoll.

Very nice. I finally get rid of Green and that boring Storm Bind. I can mana dump on an opponent at the end of the turn. Oh, and look what I just found, Reckless Wurm....

Grade: A (Red: +2 Overall)

Mudbrawler Cohort - 1R
Creature - Goblin Warrior (C)
Haste
Mudbrawler Cohort gets +1/+1 as long as you control another red creature.
1/1

Mudbrawler Cohort has +1/+1 if you have a one-drop Goblin in your opening hand.

Grade: B+ (Red: +3 Overall)

Power of Fire - 1R
Enchantment - Aura (C)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has "T: This creature deals 1 damage to target creature or player."
The cinders believe their flame was stolen by the one they call the Extinguisher. All who now wield fire draw their desperate wrath.

We were doing good, then another damn aura came around. Thanks for the same thing again guys. How many times are you going to reprint this with a different name?

Grade: F (Red: +2 Overall)

Puncture Bolt - 1R
Instant (C)
Puncture Bolt deals 1 damage to target creature. Put a -1-/1 counter on that creature.
Cinder pyromancers count their success by counting their enemies' smoking holes.

Interesting if nothing else. It kills a 2/2 creature, but also makes a 5/5 a 4/4, so it brings strategy into the fold.

Grade: B — Thank God they didn't make it a sorcery. (Red: +3 Overall)

Pyre Charger - RR
Creature - Elemental Warrior (U)
Haste
R: Pyre Charger gets +1/+0 until end of turn.
1/1

Aaaa...... I dont have anything for this. Sorry guys, I am not a Goblin player. Even though this is not a Goblin, it is still a tiny Goblin. It could be a pain in the butt Goblin, but still a Gobo.

Grade: C (Red: +3 Overall)

Rage Reflection - 4RR
Enchantment (R)
Creatures you control have double strike.

I have to pay what for what? Even Limited guy looks at this with a sigh. "It could have been... but it is...."

Grade: F — For too damn much. I understand the cycle... but damn! Do you sell gasoline too? (Red: +2 Overall)

Rustrazor Butcher - 1R
Creature - Goblin Warrior (C)
First Strike
Wither
1/2

It is not that often that I have to sit and think about a card in regards to what it actually does when it is active.

So let me talk it out. For two mana, I get a 1/2 body with first strike and wither. That means that in combat, my 1/2 body will hit your 2/2 creature first, which makes it a 1/1 in normal strike mode. Therefore, your 2/2 does only one damage to my 1/2 body (trying really hard here to forget that I am talking about a Goblin). It's pretty good if you think about it.

Grade: B — Remembering that it IS a Goblin after all.... (Red: +3 Overall)

Slinking Giant - 2RR
Creature - Giant Rogue (U)
Wither
Whenever Slinking Giant blocks or becomes blocked, it get -3/-0 until end of turn.
4/4

Great visual here... a Giant, head above the tree tops, is tip-toeing amongst the houses as if he is trying to pick someone's pocket. Someone yells, "Hey! Look! There is a Giant in the middle of our town! How did he get in here?" Then the Giant runs for the hills. Great, now if only he didn't suck in combat....

Grade: C (Red: +3 Overall)

Smash to Smithereens - 1R
Instant (C)
Destroy target artifact. Smash to Smithereens deals 3 damage to that artifact's controller.

Shatter doesn't hurt anyone, and we must use it as the standard for this card, therefore it is an improvement in regards to the standard.

Man would I love to Smash someone's Platinum Angel into Smithereens... "Damn, I was at -10 life, now I am at -13 life and dead!"

Grade: A — For, "Jerk, don't play around with me while you have a Platinum Angel in play." (Red: +4 Overall)

Wild Swing - 3R
Sorcery (U)
Choose three target nonenchantment permanents. Destroy one of them at random.

When I was scrolling down, all I saw was Wild Swing and I thought, "Aw crap, here comes the worst card of the set."

I was close. Random effects suck for me always. If they have a really big Aeon Chronicler pounding my face into smithereens, and I use this in hopes of killing it, I can guarantee you that I will randomly NOT select the Chronicler. I will in fact randomly select a Plains, not even an Island. It should read, target opponent picks one of these three nonenchantment cards and sacrifices it.

Grade: F — Freaking random!!!@! (Red: +3 Overall)

Well let's see here, what cards do I remember... I remember Smash to Smithereens because it has a funny name, I remember Deep-Slumber Titan because I think it will get some smashing play. I remember that there was a Red Corrupt, but can't recall the name. There was the Goblin with first strike and wither that I liked.

Ouch, not too good Red. I do see that you ended up with a +3 overall score, which surprises me, considering that I can't remember most of the cards I just reviewed.

Let me pause for a moment and look quickly at the reviewed cards again... stand by....

*Elevator Music... the kind with a slightly catchy beat that gets your toe tapping. You may even know the tune....*

Jaws of Stone, Flame Javelin, and Knollspine Invocation. You need those cards, and four of them right now. You most likely need Deep-Slumber Titan as well. Other then that, you can probably get the rest from someone's "I won't be needing these cards" pile.

So did Red fulfill what I need in it?

Maybe to some extent. I received cards necessary for a superb Mono-Red Control deck, and I think Flame Javelin will see a lot of play time, so I'd say that yes, I got what I needed. For a change I might add.

Now I only have one question...

Where the hell are Anarchy and Wildfire?! I need them and I need them very quickly!

-cpn

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