This is an article written by a writer trying to gain entry into the Writer's Guild, similar to Dazboot. He is resurrecting an old Streetz article series called Delusions of Mediocrity. This is the writer's second article published here at MDV, and we need your help. At the end of the article, you will find a poll. Please take a moment out of your busy life and vote on whether you think 'hamsandwhich' should be accepted into the Guild or if he should do another practice article.

Obviously, the final decision comes from Streetz, but it may sway his decision to hear the outcry of his reading public.

Let us know what you think, and I hope you enjoy the return of the Delusions series.

~Tynion

Hey folks, Hamsandwich here, hoping to throw some extra mustard on this blue-plate special we call life with the resurrection of an article series previously written by our own John Streetz. Those of you unfamiliar with the original series can find it here. John’s vision was to focus on extremely bad or broken cards, discuss their problems, and build decks around them in hopes of helping the reader view his or her collection a little differently. I hope to continue that vision with this updated version; however, I will broaden the spectrum and not only focus on those same types of cards, but also on a number of other cards that have been clogging up our binders for extended periods of time for a variety of reasons.

You know the cards. The ones that you can’t seem to trade away, but occasionally pull out or stare at for a seemingly endless amount of time thinking, “Well, if I do this… no… or how about, um, no… but what if? Nah,” and then methodically place back in their plastic tomb, only to taunt you each time you flip through your collection. One such card for me, a self-proclaimed Simic man, was the Cytoplast Manipulator.

When I purchased the Simic pre-constructed deck that came out with the release of Dissension, I was at once excited and slightly confused. It was an aggro style deck with, what seemed to me, an almost misplaced hint of control. So when I pulled my first Manipulator from a booster pack, I quickly traded for a second, thinking I had found the missing piece of that aggro-control puzzle that was the Simic Guild. After playing the deck around and being continually frustrated with its lack of finishing ability I made a shocking realization.

The Guild’s crowning achievement was also its greatest flaw. I am talking about the “Graft” ability. It gave us the chance to lay creatures which got successively bigger with each drop, and with cards like Experiment Krajj and the Manipulator out, it gave us the chance of stealing both creatures and abilities our opponents controlled. The key word there is 'chance'. More often than not, these powerful cards were immediately targeted by opponents and even the timeliest laid Plaxmanta couldn’t halt the slaughter. That was because of the flaw.

You might as well have revealed your hand to your opponent on turn one when playing the Simic. Graft’s major problem was it's lack of stealth. You were trying to rob a bank with a name tag, complete with address and social security number. Every control player knew what to hold counterspells for, and anyone with chump blockers and a few mana could stop your 20/20 creatures in their tracks. Even when the Manipulator hit the table, you had to wait a whole turn for her ability. She needed flash, as without it she could fool no one. The Simic could not be a control guild, as we thought, and so most of us began to drop our control cards in favor of instants that both pumped, and granted Trample to our ever growing genetic experiments. The Guild needed to outrace every opponent, because everyone and his third cousin - twice removed, knew what was going to happen. Personally, it was after that realization that my Cytoplast Manipulator found her way to the plastic sleeve from which she has been staring at me with those cold, blue eyes, for years; beckoning me with her outstretched hand. Then Wizards gave us Morningtide.

So, without dragging it out too much longer, here is my first deck. Thank you to Michael Zeora for a quick playtest of the initial build and some great suggestions.

The idea behind this deck is to use the Reinforce mechanic to drop counters on your opponents creatures and use the Manipulator (complete with a Robe of Mirrors) to steal them. Though you are still waiting a turn for her ability, your Reinforce cards enable her to nab a creature already in play. Protecting this combo are your Lorwyn block White Weenies: the Kithkin. I think it will prove more potent in multi-player, but it faired well in subsequent duels as well. With your Harriers and counterspells to slow your opponent, you can benefit from the synergy of your Wizards to take control of the board. You need to remember, though, that your Weenie’s should be attacking if able. You can’t always rely on your opponent to give you a giant creature.

This mixed strategy should give you multiple ways to win, so long as you keep your opponent off guard long enough to get out your Rings of Brighthearth. If you are not familiar with this “Elemental” style artifact, I suggest you get to know it. The Rings copy activated abilities for just two, colorless mana. This enables you to draw cards, tap your opponent’s creatures, or steal creatures at an amusingly, alarming rate. If the creature stealing combo fails, the deck has the ability to fight on in classic White Weenie style, pecking your opponent to death with “midgets” (as DBB called them) and using the reinforce mechanic to push through that last few points of damage.

One question that came up in review was, “why the Sage of Fables with so few Wizards?”  Well, you could build a Wizard deck around the Sage, but this is not that deck, and on a personal note, when I read cards with two abilities I try not to pigeonhole myself into feeling like I need to exploit both abilities all the time. We play plenty of cards with singular abilities so often, that I like the idea of choosing which ability to exploit and when. His counter adding ability just adds to the flavor of this build. It is the synergy his card drawing ability exhibits with this deck’s theme that I really enjoy. With Meadowboon and Vigean Graftmage, this deck tended to have plenty of extra +1/+1 counters to use. This question did, however, get me to thinking.

I mentioned before about the Cytoplast Manipulator needing “Flash” to really give it that surprise edge. I mean, imagine playing her on your opponents turn in response to their best creature, then targeting that creature with the graft ability as it comes into play, and then untapping and gaining control of it with your “ready to tap” Human Wizard Mutant. Insert chuckle and smirk. Enter Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir.

I cannot take credit for this one, as I am just plugging the cards into the already established “Mystical Teachings” engine, but as I write this I am smacking my forehead and wondering why I hadn’t thought of this one sooner. I pulled ideas from a number of popular decks, and though it’s a bit creature heavy, this one could still be fun.

I haven’t tested this one, so if anyone wants to play it, I would love some feedback. Personally I used to run a version of the engine with Aeon Chronicler, Spellbook, and Traveler’s Cloak and found that Mystical Teachings is able to carry almost any combination of supportive cast members to victory. If you’re looking for a lower budget, drop the Damnations and add more spot removal, counter spells, or card draw. With that said, let’s take it one step further by adding another binder dweller to the mix: Dovescape.

I often wonder about the lost hours I’ve spent staring at this enchantment, wondering how in the H-E-double hockey sticks I was going to get rid of all those freaking birds once it hit the table. An initial idea was to use Blazing Archon to keep the birds off your back, but then, how were you going to get your damage through? Consume Spirit? No. Akroma? Maybe, but if you have Blazing Archon and Akroma, what do you really need Dovescape for? Couldn’t you spend that six mana more effectively? Probably.

The idea behind this deck is to use Dovescape and Teferi to seriously limit your opponents spellcasting. Basically you’ll be telling them what kind of spells they may play and at what time they may play them. From there it is just a matter of manipulating the spells you are allowing them to play. I suggest holding onto the Festercreep until Dovescape has made its appearance, and your walking Nausea is enabled with flash. Most opponents will notice your lack of flying blockers and begin to desperately cast every now useless card from their hand in hopes of overwhelming you with the very bird tokens you helped them create.

Let them build up their army and attack for seventeen. Then, flash in your Nausea with legs, activate his ability, and watch the pretty little doves fall from the sky in biblical proportions. Mwa ha ha (that’s a sinister laugh if you don’t know). Wow. I am feeling pretty evil. But seriously, folks, this deck is packed with dual use creature spells, enabling you to protect your Wizards without stepping on Dovescape’s toes. The Aethermages can Wizardcycle for whichever one you’ll need at the moment, Plaxmanta can stay in play with a sacrificed Outpost or simply be an uncounterable evasion spell to save your Teferi from your opponent’s Shriekmaw or Nekrataal. Don’t get too comfortable, though, you will need to time your Festercreep right in order to make this work. Taking some damage is going to be necessary, and remember that if you play him and graft another counter on him, he will still die when you activate him, so don’t waste the graft unless you can push him up to three.

You can play around with this one. A Platinum Angel might come in handy to stall the board, and with the plethora of Wizards available you could really customize this deck to your own style. One fun combo I threw in later was utilizing Dakmor Sorceress, a powerhouse Wizard, and a couple copies of Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth. For a multiplayer setting she could be a real nice finisher, but budget wise, any large Swampwalker will do. Also, to protect your combo from creature effects, an early Declaration of Naught could be helpful against cards like Nekrataal, if you know your metagame. Spiketail Hatchling is a great creature bound counter spell as well. Happy hunting!

So there it is; a gentle stroll through the Sandwich’s brain (or at least, what’s left of it). You might have to spit out the sesame seeds on the bun, or maybe you want the coleslaw instead of the potato salad, but either way I hope it’s a satisfying meal. Oh, and the dragon, you ask? Well, I’m going to need material for the next article, so you’ll just have to wait. Until then: don’t be afraid to whip it out and play with it. Me? I’ll be popping a few aspirin and making funny faces at Morality Shift.

~hamsandwich~

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Articles Spotlights from 2008:
A Fresh Perspective: Stasis - Part One.
The Apprentice Magician - Part Six.
Design on a Dime: The Lunch Meat Edition!
Fit the Flavor 2008 - FINALE!
The Games People Play - Market & EDH.
More Evil Than Evil.
Pauper Chronicles: Top O' the Morningtide to You!
Sarpadian Empires, Vol VII: Foreword.
Words from the Streetz: Uncommon and Common Magical Treasures.
The Writers Guild: The Inside Scoop.