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MDV Featured Article:
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MDV Featured Article -
Planeswalker Contest - Judge Entries and Comments. -
by Cashew, Michael_Zeora & Streetz - posted 11/12/07 - discuss
here
|
 With
the deadline for the contest past due, I realize my hopes to get this out prior
to it have been dashed. Sadly, there seems to be something going on amongst the
writers that I'm just not privy to since I'm more in the contest admin slot at
this time. All I can tell you is that I had some previous work from Michael
Zeora and he couldn't give me any more updates on it. Streetz seems preoccupied
and has a lot of pressing issues (site viruses and such) and so his contribution
is very limited.
I can't just abandon this, so with the minimal help of
others and no idea what is happening in the undercurrents of the Writer's Guild
- I present the judge's entries. The goal was to present one good and one bad
from each judge, but the aforementioned internal problems lead me to a little
less than I wanted.
Before I get to the entries though, I want to reiterate
five key ideas:
- Your Planeswalker must be Lorwyn
themed. Remember the unofficial "Hug Rule." If a 6 year old can't
hug it, it's probably not Lorwyn. If in doubt, use an existing Lorwyn tribes
(Elemental, Merfolk, Fae, Giant, Elf, Kithkin, Goblin, Changeling).
- Artwork description is just as important as the card.
- Do proofread your entries. Spelling and grammar
won't hurt you, but misspelling and awkward sentences certainly doesn't
help. However, you may discover a mistake on your card which could be vital
to it working.
- Planeswalker's abilities are played at sorcery speed.
- KISS (Keep it Simple, Stupid) Method helps a lot.
With some having 3 or 4 abilities remember it has to be effectively carded.
You're not doing it, but too much text and you may end up with a text card a
head at the top. Most Planeswalker abilities are short and sweet. If it
takes you more than two sentences to spit it out, you're probably off point.
| Cashew's Johnny Don't Entry |
Baron Samedi, Lord of the Dead 1BB
Planeswalker - Samedi
Cards in your graveyard can't be the target of spells or abilities your
opponents control.
+1: Return target creature from your graveyard to your hand.
-2: Search your library for a creature and shuffle it. Put that creature in
your graveyard.
3
Description:
I didn't really want to describe him so here you go here's a good
picture of what I think Baron Samedi should look like. He's a popular figure
so it should be well known to most people! I don't want the James Bond one.
Picture Link:
Click Here.
|
Cashew |
This entry is actually a nice card that I like very much, but
it obviously doesn't work for this contest for two major reasons. For one,
there is no art description - it actually depicts the opposite of what we
want giving a literal picture. The second reason is it's not Lorwyn. In
fact, it's very un-Lorwyn. This is a great example of an fantastic card that
is misplaced in the plane, and lacks an art description.
My score: 0/50 - Missing one of the two major
parts. |
|
Michael_ Zeora |
I think I really laughed on the
picture, wait, yes yes I did. Well let's see, follows Lorwyn theme...
nope... trash. My Score 0/50 -
Forgot the Lorwyn theme
|
|
Streetz |
I can’t say much more than the two previous judges as they
are both right. Strange though that the picture looks similar to an old
costume I once wore for Halloween. Yikes. My
Score: 0/50 – Ditto. |
Cynder Embercoal 1RRR
Planeswalker - Embercoal {R}
Whenever you play a red instant or sorcery spell, put a loyalty counter on
Cynder Embercoal. Cynder Embercoal plays an ability on each of your turns if
able.
-1: Cynder Embercoal deals 1 damage to target player.
-5: Cynder Embercoal deals 5 damage to target player.
5
Description:
Color: Red
Location: A barren dirt circle in a forest glade
Action: An older looking Flamekin sits on the barren dirt surrounded by
trees in the background. Missing the normally Flamekin brilliant flames,
heat is still apparent from the dark red glow that emanates from all over
the elder's body. One hand is out stretched drawing in the dirt where a sole
flame is apparent at the point where his finger touches the ground. Despite
the Flamekin's age he appears anything but frail.
Focus: The small burst of flame on the ground.
Mood: Solemn, Reverent
Additional Notes: Standard Flamekin colors and motif's apply except the lack
of brilliant flame.
|
Cashew |
I'd be remised not to give my good entry a good score. I like
it very much for hopefully depicting an elder Flamekin who appears to be
running out of the flame that feeds his life. More or less burning out. The
card emulates this by having no self ability to regain loyalty, requiring
outside assistance to regain loyalty. Flamekin are easy choices as walkers
in my book due to them primarily being named with charactonyms. Simply put,
you can call them things like Flamey Sparkbottom or Sizzle McBurnie. Well
maybe not that corny, but you can definitely give them some fun
fire/heat-based names.
My Score: 46/50 (gotta give it something
high right - art description isn't perfect, but I like the card and find
very little wrong with it) |
|
Michael_ Zeora |
I agree with Cashew that Flamekin would be
an easy choice, but I didn't think the art description matched what I had in
my head from reading the card. All in all the card is well placed and well
enough. My Score: 40/50 --
Impressive, but it's still missing something.
|
|
Streetz |
This is a good entry, Cashew. It is vivid in description and
well balanced as a card. Going outside the typical template for a
Planeswalker is risky to say the least, though. I like your card. I am
liking part of your description for the card but I am siding with MZ on the
description being a little off for the card. In a forest? It’s a red
Planeswalker, not a red-green one. But I digress.
My Score: 35/60 – See comments above. |
| Michael_Zeora's Johnny Don't Entry |
|
Cashew |
My oh my is it pretty! Seems to be a Planeswalker straight
from the Raven Guild, however it has issues for this contest. For one, it's
not Lorwyn - it appears to be human, it's also androgynous so I'll continue
to call it it, not he or she. Second, it's carded - a big no no. That alone
merits this entry a 0 in my book. To tear it up
further there's minor mistakes like capitalization in the wrong places and
no punctuation - oh yeah and the grammar train comes to wreck the their vs.
there. Of course those things are minor mistakes and don't count for much at
all. However, Luthervamplord who snuck a peak also points out the second
ability doesn't even work as it's worded slightly wrong which would have
earned major technical aspect dings if it wasn't a 0 already.
My Score: 0/50 |
|
Michael_ Zeora |
Did this guy even read the rules?
My Score: 0/50
|
|
Streetz |
Aside from the second ability being extremely broken as I
understand what you are trying to do, this card still deserves a big zero.
No art description equals no score. Sorry, buddy.
My Score: 0/50 – Although it does look pretty. I think
Luthervamplord would love this card for its art. |
| Michael_Zeora's Johnny Do Entry |
Krick Teeg, Patriarch 3GW
Tribal Planeswalker - Kithkin Teeg {R}
+2: Spells cost you o1 more
-3: Spells cost you o1 less
-8: put 4 +1/+1 counters on each Kithkin Creature your creature.
5
Description:
Image: A mid-aged towards older Kithkin Druid speaking to a group of
Kithkin under a tree.
Focus: on the Kithkin Druid
Action: Speaking to the Public
Feeling: Inspiring the Troops
|
Cashew |
Hmm the card looks good, not familiar with the o1 stuff but I
assume it means 1 colorless. Also missing the "to play until end of turn."
aspect such as "Spells cost you o1 more to play until end of turn." Have to
give him credit it's definitely Kithkin territory using little gains all
over to make large gains. The larger loyalty gain with a negative ability is
definitely unique as well.
My major disappointment however lies in the art
description. It's very vague. What public, what troops. It went from sitting
under a tree to a mass army and crowd all around him. The art needs major
work in my book. This brings up an interesting question - are planeswalkers
able to receive the Tribal super notation? I guess ultimately yeah they
could be.
My Score: 33/50 |
|
Michael_ Zeora |
I don't think I can comment on my own work,
but I will say this: "The maker of this card is completely out of his mind,
I mean holy hell what was this man on?" My Score:
33/50 (going with Cashew on this one)
|
|
Streetz |
I have MANY, MANY problems with this card. Number one, the
wording is terrible. Each “creature your creature”??? Where’s the “until end
of turn” as Cashew pointed out? -8 for the last ability? Given the impact of
his last ability and the ease of getting to 8 counters on this planeswalker,
I think it should have costed more or costed the same with less effect.
I also have to side with Cashew on the art description. Much
like Cashew’s good card, it doesn’t match the visual I get from the actual
card … at all. Sorry, MZ. I’m not pleased with this one.
My Score: 20/50. Disappointed to say the least. |
| Streetz's Johnny Don't Entry |
Driband Koon - 3WW
Planeswalker - Koon
+1 Target Player gains 3 life.
-2 Until your next turn, players cannot gain life.
-8 Exchange life totals with target player.
6
Description:
The above is a mid-aged female Kithkin life controller... the art should
reflect it... (more later on the description for the art)
|
Cashew |
Well the card is distinctly White. I'm not sure about the
second ability as it seems very Black, but I could definitely buy it with
White's controlling and restrictive nature. Anyway, the card is fairly solid
and the name definitely depicts a Kithkin along with color. I'd love to
grade this actually...but alas there is no art description.
My score: 0/50. |
|
Michael_ Zeora |
+10 Points for technical work? I mean this
isn't a full card without a description. My
score: 10/50
|
|
Streetz |
Meh. I was having a bad day. At least I made it Lorwyn
themed... My score: 0/50. |
| Streetz's Johnny Do Entry |
Glen Elandra - UUBB
Planeswalker - Elandra
+1 The next spell you play this turn has flash. You may play this ability
any time you could play an instant.
-2 Search your opponent's library for up to two different cards and remove
them from the game.
-5 Play a card removed from the game by THIS without paying it's mana cost.
3
Description:
Color: Blue-Black
Location: The Glen Elandra alcove, as depicted on cards like Oona's Prowler
and Sentinels of Glen Elandra.
Action: A faerie-shaped elemental that actually resides in the Glen Elandra
alcove in Lorwyn. It is a she and thus has the attributes of a female. She
is frolicking in the mists of Glen Elandra with an obvious deceptive look on
her elemental face. She is moving her hand and arm in a way to bless
something when in fact she is draining it dry.
Focus: The movement of her arm and the magic beneath it.
Mood: Deceptive, Cynical, Evil, Mischievous
Additional Notes: Remember it is a cross between a Fae (Faerie with wings)
and an elemental.
|
Cashew |
This card is interesting for one it has an instant speed
ability. This is one way how you CAN do it. It allows for instant speed
where normally it's sorcery. The problem with making things Flash is it's a
very powerful ability compared to other loyalty gains. I do like how the
other two abilities depend on each other, but to use the ability once takes
a whopping 7 loyalty. I'd much rather see it's playability ramped up by
swapping things as such:
+1: Search your opponent's library for one card and
remove it from the game.
-2: The next spell you play this turn has flash. You may play this
ability any time you could play an instant.
-5: Play a card removed from the game by THIS without paying it's mana
cost.
The bane of the art description is good details and
vocabulary, but then when it comes time to show a true detail you get
something else. In this case, the word is something. "She is moving her hand
and arm in a way to bless something..." See it now? What is she blessing?
Tell us. Don't make the artist guess. This is a good case of what keeps good
art descriptions from being perfect. Paint your landscape with direct
distinct words. Minor details are okay to leave out such as fish in a river,
but if it goes towards elaborating your central theme convey it. Don't tell
the artist about a body of water. Tell him it's a river. Better yet, tell
him it's a calm river laced with reeds and trees hanging over - as a person
who lives in New York City and a person who lives in the Mountains have far
different visions. Hopefully that makes sense to you all.
My score: 42/50. |
|
Michael_ Zeora |
Aside from the fact the art makes the card
feel like a Hybrid (between Fae and Elemental) the art does have good feel.
The Flash ability is a bit too quick, maybe cutting the last part so that
it's more like Quicken. And for 7 Loyalty you get a "half" Tooth and Nail?
Although I find some difficulty with this card, it survives:
My Score: 32.5/50
|
|
Streetz |
Cashew, sometimes you have to give some play to an artist,
and thus the ‘what are you blessing’ comment you made is really up to the
artist. An art description doesn’t have to be soooo precise that the artist
is just painting without any artistic freedom. I am giving the artist some
freedom with what specifically is being drained/blessed.
I would agree with MZ that the last ability is perhaps
overcosted, but what if you remove a Darksteel Colossus? Is seven loyalty
too much to play that spell for free? I think not. It would need to be play
tested, much like your card except the first several rounds of play testing
would be grammar corrections…
*evil grin*
I stand still liking my card. And thus:
My Score: 43/50 – I am an Imperious Perfect kind of
person… |
Hopefully you learned something through these entries. Look
at what works and what doesn't work. Most of all check your entries to see how
they match up versus our cards. I've tried to load the discussion
thread
with plenty of helpful hints as I recognized major mistakes in some early
entries. I'm glad the trend was to see improvement as more people entered -
possibly even too much information in some.
Given the recent problems MDV has had, I extended the edit
deadline to 11/9/07. This unfortunately has passed so no more
modifications can be made to your entry. This was supposed to have been
posted a week ago, before the extended deadline, but Streetz didn't have a
computer to publish the site with and thus you are seeing this after the
deadline. [Sorry guys - I was in computer chaos for
about a week... ~Streetz~]
In the meantime, please vote on the judge entries and let
us know what you think!
~Cashew~
You can discuss this article in the MDV forums
here.
Find other articles by this author here.
Find other articles from this series here.
[ Back ] [ Home ] [ Up ] [ Next ]
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