Wow, ten articles deep in my Memories and still bringing them to your strong! (Yes, there are ten of them, even though this is only number nine.)

In this article, which is being broken into sub-articles so you don’t lose feeling in your lower extremities, I intend on teaching you all about parallel lines and numeric ratios. Perhaps we can even fit in some study of a quadratic equation just for kicks!

My Magic career has spanned 13 long years now. I began playing in the summer of 1994, and became a competitive player in 1996.

While I never really took my skill as far as I believe, in hind sight, that I could have gone, I am pleased with what I did accomplish. No, I did not play on the Pro Tour, and I did not win a Grand Prix event, nor did I even do well in the few I attempted. I was more of a “Club Pro.”

If you go to any local Golf Course, inevitably, you will come across a guy who would probably own you on the course, but he himself either was not good enough to be a pro, or had some type of life occurrence that prevented him from trying. He may have been expecting a child, or needed to stay home and take care of an aging parent, or maybe he got into a car accident that prevented him from launching his career.

For the sake of argument, that is what I was… the “Club Pro.” My personal crippling came at my own doing, as I first got married, then divorced, and finally stopped caring enough to better myself. After all of the smoke of my burning life cleared, and I could look back and try to salvage what I could from the wreckage, I noticed something that was not burned up in the fire.

It was my spirit. It was my competitive spirit that drove me onto the accomplishments that I achieved in my life previous to my undoing. It was the indomitable will that kept me telling you, “Watch, I’ll show you just how wrong you really are.”

It was that discovery that launched me into my writing. I was a little old to try and play football again, and too old to try to run track again, but my mind was still sharp enough to dominate in Magic. However, my pocket book then reminded me that I was not as well off financially as I once was, so playing Magic became a figment of my imagination.

Two years ago, I stumbled across a website, in which I found a little post saying, “Want to write articles about Magic? Send your article to this email address!” That little, red webpage didn’t have all that much on it then, just a link to a forum, a visual spoiler, a deck database, and a few other links that I am sure that I have forgotten about, but what I didn’t notice at the time was that there were no articles on it. I just figured the guy was starting a contest. It was then that the writing spirit came upon me, and I felt the competitive spirit kindle in my blood, and I knew right away, that all those ass beatings I took back in 1996 were going to pay off finally, as I was going to tell my story, and you guys were going to make me the winner of that contest!

Of course afterwards, I find out that there was no contest, and that John Streetz was just trying to get articles to put onto his website and make Magic Deck Vortex more than just a deck database.

Over 25 articles and two years later, I find myself still writing about Magic, and still feeling the blood bubble with that spirit of competition each time I write an article.

How does all of that even relate to the point of the article?

I find that, to me, Magic is like Football. (There is your parallel.)

When I was young, football took the competitive spirit and used it as a driving force that molded who I would become. The spirit pushed me through ten years of football, beginning when I was only eight years old, weighing all of 68 pounds, up until I was a senior in high school.

You may wonder at how I find the similarities between the two, well let me explain…

In the Beginning…

Football:
When I was a young kid, trying to play football, my body was weak, and not very endurant. Training seemed to be all I was doing. I don’t seem to remember practicing plays, and doing position drills. All I remember were the calisthenics. I remember all those freaking six inches, and down and backs, and bear crawl blues. I HATED Bear Crawl Blues…

Anyways, those are the memories I have of Pee-Wee Football. In my first two seasons, my team won the championships, but I never saw the field, and I never felt like I had won anything. I was just doing wind sprints and jumping jacks and dog-gone Bear Crawl Blues.

Magic:
In 1994, I don’t remember winning Magic tournaments, and I don’t even remember playing in them. I remember buying packs of Fallen Empires, and thinking, or perhaps hoping, that they were the best thing that had ever happened to me. Obviously, I was mistaken in my assumption. What I do remember is the frustration of being beaten in every game I played. “Why can’t my Mon’s Goblin Raiders be better than a 1/1? Stupid Merfolk of the Pearl Trident!”

… A little Later…

Football:
When I was the oldest player on the team, which was my third year of football, my team sucked. We lost all but two games, and I don’t remember all the calisthenics, perhaps I should note the following ratio…

Training vs. Winning (0:0)

Anyways, during that season, I noticed that the game was very fast, and I was overwhelmed. I started on defense, and I didn’t do much, which might have been due to lack of experience, but then again, I was the oldest kid out there. Looking back, I can tell you that experience in something is the biggest difference between a guy with potential, and a guy with skill.

Experience vs. Success (0:0)

Magic:
A few years later, I still was not winning Magic tournaments; however, I was playing in them. This was the Black Summer, and while I was busy being beaten to a blood pulp in these days, so did everyone. The similarity comes when I discovered that I still don’t have much experience in my desired skill. Nor did I have the best cards to really compete with the top players.

Training vs Winning (0:0) … (still…)

…Meanwhile! …

Football:
After Pee-Wee Football, I began my Middle School Football days. Again, my team sucked, and we won exactly zero games. Again, I started, this time on offense instead of defense. Something that I noticed, even in this time period, is that you can not be predictable, and think you are going to surprise someone. My team would execute exactly like this every game:

1st Down: Run the ball up the middle.
2nd Down: Run the ball to the right.
3rd Down: Run the ball to the left.
4th Down: Punt the ball, and hope the kicker can get it over the line of scrimmage.

Rocket science ey? Somehow the coach got promoted to High School level after that! I will never understand that surprising turn of events either.

By the way, if you didn’t know, being a Wide Receiver on a running football team sucks. They might have not even put a guy out to guard me, as we threw exactly one pass during the season, which consisted of about eight games. On that particular play, the Quarterback over threw me by about 20 yards. Guess if we had practiced a little more on pass plays…

Practice vs. Success (0:0)

Magic:
After getting smacked around for a while playing Ernie-geddon, I figured out that I had to do something different. Necro was too fast, too strong, and I needed to mix something up. Maybe I needed to do something different than play a creature and attack…

Note that I had been following the football lead. I was running into wall, so what should I do now? Run into the wall again!

Instead, this time I learned. Experience said that this didn’t work, so instead, when all else fails…

PLAY STASIS! …

…

… (Don’t even think it was worth it).

Experience vs. Success (1:1)

That’s right! I converted to the dark side. I piloted a Stasis deck for about six months and cracked Necro’s head clean open. Soon afterwards, some guy figured out that Winter Orb prison decks locked up both Necro and Stasis. What should I do? Continue as my football experience had shown me, and continue running into the wall (playing Stasis)? Or should I try my hand at something new that my Magic experience showed me to be correct?

I chose to try something new. Patrick and I created a deck that was RG aggro, which would throw Balduvian Horde, Autumn Willow, and Ernie Djinn into play on turn two and pulverize decks. How was that different? Because I realized that both Autumn Willow and Jolreal Centaur gave all three of the previously winning decks fits, as they could not be targeted.

Experience vs. Success (2:2)

…In the Other Dimension…

Football:
Back in school, I was entering my high school days. A point to not be left out was that my school had cut out Eight Grade football, due to money issues. I mention that to say that my class missed an entire year of football practice.

Training vs. Success (0:0)

When training began for High School football, we noticed a severe problem. A lot of the guys who played with us in Seventh Grade, were not playing any more. They had found other things to do, or had a bad taste in their mouth from having the entire game ripped out of their hands. What ever the case, we only had around ten people in our Freshman class. Comparatively speaking, our other grades had about 25 each.

Another problem we found was that we were not as strong physically or mentally as the other guys, as we had lost an entire year of strength and endurance conditioning; not to mention actual game experience. So we had to start from scratch with our training. Which means that my entire Freshman year memories was again the leg lifts, wind sprints, and those… #!@#!!! Bear Crawl Blues!! However, since we were in High School, the coaches felt that we were advanced now, and they made us do BBCBs! Which of course means: BACKWARDS! Bear Crawl Blues.

Want to know why these sucked? Try this:

Get down on your hands and feet. You may not touch the ground with your knees. You can only touch the ground with your hands and feet. Then you must make your way, bear-style, 50 yards down the field as fast as possible. Oh, and that is one BCB, typically the coaches would run you through about ten of them. Oh, and it doesn’t count if any of your teammates touch the ground with anything beyond their feet and hands. This is including your 300 pound linemen.

So then a BBCB, would be with your hands and feet touching the ground, only you are chest up, trodding along on the ground keeping your butt up off of the ground, the same distance. These drills were all pretty easy for someone like me who tried my hardest to keep my weight up high enough to make the team, but for a 300 pound Guard, keeping up in the air was next to impossible, so the coaches would end the practice with these drills, and would end the drills when they were sick of seeing us do them!

When the games begun for my Freshman year, we got clobbered. Undersized, under-maned, under-experienced, etc. we simply were not good enough to beat any but the crappiest of teams. We ended up winning two Junior Varsity games.

GO TEAM!

Magic:
Around this time, Patrick and I began to discover that we could help each other more co-operatively than by being friends only outside of the game. We then decided to group up, and even took some younger players under our wings.

We found that not only was this good, as it made for practice games, but we discovered that we were learning the game faster and more in-depth by teaching others. Something began to occur that I didn’t know how to handle… Success.

Practice vs. Success (1:1)

…After long years of battling…

Football:
It began to happen. Things began to click in my mind. Instead of just doing things because people said to do so, I began to understand the ‘why’. I understood why I should be running my patterns at full speed. I began to understand why a Defense would react in a certain situation. I began to understand why I should call out a Blitz when I see them. I found myself also beginning to play more too.

Recognition vs. Play Time (1:1)

At this time, I will grant you leave to go your way and find ways to get blood pumping to your toes again, but you should know that you are at the midpoint of this article. We are sitting at page 6 1/2 of 14, yes I know that I am a bit on the long winded side, and my entire point of the article, and your much anticipated Magic story is just on the horizon.

You must simply wait one more day, as Streetz and the other Editors promised me that the exciting conclusion will be posted tomorrow, and so you should tune back in again to find out if my life ratios add up, or if I failed out of college for a reason.

cpn

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Articles Spotlights from 2007:
Lorwyn Theme Week Intro & Schedule of Events
Blink And Bounce: Timing is Key
Going Blind: XCB Metagaming - A Prolonged Conclusion.
The Science of Magic: Genetic Engineering, Part Two.
Shifting Lineaments: Casual Metagaming (Pt. 2).
The Dungeon Of Malefict: Pure Evil!
Land Week Introduction & Schedule.
Combofusion: Legends Timeshifted.
One Card to Rule Them All: Coastal Piracy
Irrational Love: Chimeras. The Lego's of Magic.