Welcome to a very special edition of First Impressions. I recently had an addition to my family, and I wanted to share my joy with all of you. The best way I could think of to do so is to write an article for you, offering you my First Impressions of Fatherhood.

"Hero" by Chad Kroeger

I am so high, I can hear heaven.
I am so high, I can hear heaven.
Oh but heaven, no heaven don't hear me.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.

Someone told me that love would all save us.
But how can that be?
Look what love gave us.
A world full of killing, and blood-spilling, that
world never came.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.

Now that the world isn't ending, it's love that I'm sending to you.
It isn't the love of a hero, that's why I fear it won't do.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.

And they're watching us (Watching us)
They're watching us (watching us) as we all fly away.
And they're watching us (Watching us)
They're watching us (watching us) as we all fly away.
And they're watching us (Watching us)
They're watching us (watching us) as we all fly away.

Those who know me at all on a personal level will tell you that I am spiritual person. I wasn’t always that way, which is why I feel so blessed now.

“Now that the world isn’t ending, it’s love that I’m sending to you.”

As I sit here, trying to figure out how to express myself, I look at the picture of my son sitting here on my desk. I see in his face, my nose. I see in him my helplessness. I see his weaknesses; he can not yet walk, understand, or even communicate in any standard way. Yet, when I look into his eyes, I see something there that not many people on this earth have in their eyes when they look at me.

Complete trust. He looks at me and relaxes. The sound of my voice calms his storms.

He entered this world not able to see, as a baby’s eyesight is not very good. He could not tell me about his hurts and his needs, as a baby cannot speak. He could not even clean himself after making a mess.

The dependency upon another person is what delivers the feeling of trust. The fact that he needs me now, more than he ever will again in his life is mind blowing.

‘Today you need me completely.
As the weeks and months slide by, you will need me less and less.
Yet, as those weeks and months slide by, I will need you more and more.’ -cpn

My son, Christian Jaden, was born on April 25, 2007. He was seven pounds, seven ouces, and 19 1/2" long. At exactly 11:03:01, my life changed. No longer was I Chris; some guy. I became Chris, someone’s father. I’m a dad. It still doesn’t sit right thinking about myself as a dad yet, but I am. Whenever Veronica says to Christian, “There is Daddy!” I blush. It has not fully sunk in yet.

The first time I held him in my arms, I was afraid that I would hurt him; he looked so small and fragile. You see, his neck is not strong enough to support the weight of his head, so I need to make sure that I have my hand on the back of his head, or else his head will bounce all over the place. While this may sound mildly funny, I am his dad. I have to protect him.

This is my child, and my God has entrusted this little boy to me. After all the times that I had wrecked my life into the ditch, and disappointed those around me, and ruined everything; somehow I was deserving of this blessing. My eyes get teary when I think of this, as this means that my life wasn’t so bad after all.

Think about it. Had I not made any of the mistakes that I made along the way, I would not have my baby boy. Again I look at the picture on my desk, and I smile. It was all worth it. Every tear shed, every drop of blood spilled - both physical and spiritual, every hour of work, every hour of my entire life that I felt I had wasted were all worth it.

Every lesson I have learned in life begins to rise to the top of my mind, as I know that I must be the one to teach my boy. I think about teaching him to catch, to hit a baseball, to do his homework, to play nice on the bus, to ride his bike, ‘the talk’, dating, marriage, and even children of his own, these are all things that I will be having a direct influence on. He relies on me you see. I am to be his Hero.

“And they say that a hero can save us.
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.”

I had a day dream on the way home from work one Friday afternoon. In that day dream, I saw a little boy sitting on the front room floor. He was playing with some blocks, maybe legos, but suddenly the front door opened, and I walked in. I must have been returning home from work in the vision. The boys eyes lit up as he quickly turned his head. He got up and ran to me, and threw his arms around my legs and yelled, “Daddy!”

After only five days, I have found still one thing that I still can’t understand.

How is it possible to love someone else so much? Even more so than my mother, and my fiancé, and even myself. How is it possible that I could come to be willing to sacrifice my own life to protect someone after only such a short time?

Yet at any moment that it is required, I would trade my life for his.

And that is my First Impression of Fatherhood.

-dedicated to my son, Christian.

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Going Blind: XCB Metagaming - A Prolonged Conclusion.
The Science of Magic: Genetic Engineering, Part Two.
Shifting Lineaments: Casual Metagaming (Pt. 2).
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Combofusion: Legends Timeshifted.
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