Throughout my career, I really never had a staple deck type that I called mine, that is, until the very end of my ten-year run. I began my career playing Weenie decks, and soon was forced to learn the ropes of Stasis in order to be able to compete against the Necro players. I would eventually play other Lock / Control decks along the way. My running mate, Patrick, used to tell me I was too good as a Control Player, because I would sit there like a statue, and I was totally un-readable. There was nothing I would give you to indicate what was in my hand. I can not tell you how many times I had nothing in my hand but three Islands, and my opponent would not cast a thing.

EDITORS'S NOTE: The only reason I put the pic of Chronatog Totem to the right is because when Chris said he was like a statue, I immediately thought of it.  ~Streetz~

I also played a good amount of Aggro decks in my time; Ernie-geddon, Sligh, and Beasts come to mind as examples. I don’t think I ever really liked to play as the Aggro deck player, but at the times that I did, I was infiltrating new stores, and catching people off guard, so it worked out well.

I have a liking to the new age Mono Black Control, where you kill mucho creatures, they discard a lot of cards, and you play one big Corrupt and they die. Fun stuff. The problem I have is that I need diversity of colors. I am not a fan of monochrome decks, unless the deck is mono-Blue, and then I can tolerate it.

When the Odyssey Block came in, I was enamored. Back in the day, we could only play cooperative colors; Blue with White, Green with Red, Black with Black, etc. When I first saw UG Madness, just seeing the colors Blue and Green together shocked me. The contrast… the fact that they don’t make sense together… these reasons, plus more, made me want to play the deck. It wasn’t that the deck was good, I just loved to see a Blue card, next to a Green one, and the Blue one was not Control Magic.

This would eventually set the stage for me and my last deck, that being a Red - White Land Destruction (LD) / Control deck. Which also brings me to my most favorite aspect of Magic.

Has there ever been a more hated three casting cost spell than Stone Rain? I love it. Even when someone else is pounding my lands into the ground, I still have a fondness for making sure that someone else is mana screwed. To look lazily across the table, and see your opponent red in the face, banging on the table, and eventually throwing his cards on the table in disgust as you swing with your Blistering Firecat [or Rorix ~Streetz~] for the killing blow.

"If I could only draw land, I would have beat you! Look at my hand!" They always shout, gesturing wildly from across the table. True! Your hand is a most impressive collection of awesome spells. Look at it! Wrath of God, a Persecute, a splashing of Mana Leaks, and Counterspells. Sylvan Library, Might of Oaks, Hammer of Bogarden, and Pox. All those nasty little cards just sitting casually in your hand, taking the day off, because you have no lands in play. Gosh, if only you had drawn those precious lands you needed, and were you not so darn mana screwed, you might have won this match…

As I pick up my graveyard, and begin to look through it, I say, "What’s this?! Three Stone Rains, two Molten Rain, a Wild Fire, and three Demolishes."

I’d look at him quickly and say with glee, "If you had only drawn land? Look through your graveyard my dear friend, you drew your lands… they just happened to not stick to the board very long. They are all in your graveyard!"

If I had to rank the colors according to my likings, Blue would definitely be my tops, and by a wide margin I might add. Once we leave the realm of Blue, however, I start to see closer races. I see White and Black in one group, but each are favorites only because of a couple select cards. I look over and see Red, which is is random anger, and I feel right at home. Oh yea, and Green.

Ask any Red-head you know, and they will confirm to you that the best answer to any problem is to throw gasoline and fire at it. That is exactly what Red does, and that is why it has a special place in my heart. Besides the LD spells that I desperately need, it offers all the fire and lightning one could possibly ask for. I don’t want honor and corpses, I want fire and brimstone! You can have your pretty flowers and mighty trees, give me lightning storms and fiery vortexes!

Have you had a chance to take a look at the top Standard decks of today? My oh my, what I would have done to be playing with these cards back in my day.

Think about the possibilities: I could play my favorite color and my favorite deck type at the same time! I always dreamed of my very own Blue Land Destruction deck. Going all the way back to when the only Blue Land Destruction spell was the glorious, well maybe not so much, Erosion. If you were to think of any problem that there might be with Mana Leak, and now Rune Snag, what would it be? Late game they can afford the extra three or six mana, right? AH HA! Not in the deck that is bouncing, no pun intended, around in my head and is making my tonsils dance with delight!

Imagine, a Red deck destroying a land on turn two! Thanks to Blue it can do that! Imagine, a Blue deck tearing someone apart with a huge, hasty creature! Thanks to Red, it can do that!

Takes a brief break from writing to dance for a few minutes while laughing maniacally.

Scoreboard! Victory for Chris!

Wait a minute, this is a casual site, it is THE casual site, just ask Streetz, and he will tell you. So I should try to write about something casual, not about the pounding that people are taking all around the world due to the deck that I have dreamed of for oh so many years. AHHH HAHAHAHA!

Fights the impulse to dance again…

As I was saying, I always wanted a Blue deck that could destroy lands and frustrate the opponent to no end. I absolutely love it when all you can do is sit there and stare at me and your lack of mana and seethe. Ah ah ah! Sportsmanship! People swearing do not win the Sportsmanship Award!

So, I must! I really, really must celebrate my long awaited victory! This has been in the works for fives… no tens of years! This has been… been…

Loses control and begins dancing again, clapping his hands and singing…

Wooah, I better settle down here, I may break a sweat.

So as I was telling you before, I need a plan. I need to dedicate this day, this article, to aggravating you. You are the one I love to get to. You’re the one I want to be mad at me. You’re the one that I would be pillaging of all mana. You are the one that I would be dancing on the table in front of, and so, you can share in my glory today, as we celebrate the day that Blue became able to be included in a LD deck.

Happy U-LD day!

Have you seen the number of bounce spells they currently have in which I can bounce a land? Woo! Eye of Nowhere, Boomerang, thank God for my Boomerang, and now thanks to Coldsnap, Surging Aether. Not to add Black to the puzzle, but remember also that Clutch of the Undercity also allows me to bounce your lands, and smack your face for three life; good card.

While I am discussing cool, Blue, Land effecting spells, have you taken the time to see how many blatant theft spells there are? What? What is a blatant theft spell? It’s those spells that you cast that allow you to reach across the table and snatch a card from your opponent. Cards like: Annex, Dream Leash, and Confiscate. How awesome is it to just pillage your opponent’s stuff, without even caring about his well being?

Fun times!

So perhaps we should fill out a deck list here and see what I am talking about. I almost can’t wait!

Today, the price is right, as I will be pimping and pandering all of your goods. So make sure that you bring big, fat creatures (Akroma would do nicely!), expensive lands (how about a Library of Alexandria), and don’t forget to bring a ham sandwich for lunch, I am starved! Make that with cheese!

Without doing a ton of research, as a matter of fact - that entire list was from the top of my head, I think this deck would be heading down the right path. It has the all the acceleration that Green typically provides from its Elves in the form of Sea Scryer and Sky Diamond. Either of these spells being played on turn two provides me with the same speed that Red typical has going into its land pillaging phase, that being turn three, as I can begin to cast Annex and steal their lands.

The deck has a strange mana curve to it, as it jumps from a turn three, four mana to a turn four six mana, due to the new land I just took. From there I can also use Confiscate, as well as Dream Leash.

As long as I am talking about the Enchantments of the deck, I just checked on the actual rule for Copy Enchantment, and I just sat there staring at the screen. Were you aware that if you have a Kodama in play (or any other untargetable creature) and I control a Dream Leash or Confiscate in play, I can cast my Copy Enchantment, and when the spell resolves, I first chose the Enchantment to copy (Confiscate) and then I move the spell to a permanent in play that it could go to. For example, since Confiscate could take a creature, I could move the copy of Confiscate onto a creature. So in the case I am presenting, I would copy Confiscate, then slide my copy of Confiscate over to your Kodama, and this is legal because Copy Enchantment is targeting the Confiscate, not your Kodama, I just need to attach it to a card type that is legal. Truly a stupid rule, but I will take it! And your Kodama, because this is Chris feel good day! Thanks for the big fatty by the way… *SNATCH!*

As you can see, this deck ramps up in mana availability very quickly, and should not have too much of an issue casting Tidespout Tyrant around turn six or seven. Once he gets into play, look out! Not only will I be stealing your stuff, but I will be bouncing your permanents every time I cast a spell. Mainly, I would be continuing to wreak havoc on your mana supply, since you probably can’t attack me very much with a very limited amount of land, due to my buddy, the original, Propaganda.

I am having so much fun with this, I did a search for all the Sorcery and Instant cards printed that say, ‘Return target permanent to it’s Owner’s hand.’ My oh my are there quite a few. Its too bad that I actually have to win the game, or I might be half tempted to just repeatedly bounce your permanents and just sit and laugh you to death as you draw your eighth card, put your land into play, then return it to your hand, and then discard your eighth card. Let’s see what I mean..

The other day, as I was driving along with my Fiancée, Veronica, and the radio put on a song, which I can not remember, and she flipped out. "OH MY GOD! IT’S MY SONG!" She turned the radio up loud and started singing and jamming to it. I just sat there staring at her, because I thought she had lost her rabbit running mind. After the song was over and she returned to normal thinking patterns, I asked her how many songs she has, because this was not the first time she had done this to me, and this was not the same song as before. I thought for sure I’d remember that song and be able to get out of the way, but this was a different song. She smiled and told me that she has about four, and that they change periodically when one gets old and her new song comes out.

Well, that is how I am about Tidespout Tyrant. I used to get down to the beat of Tradewind Rider bouncing permanents as it did a three-some dance with any collection of creatures. The Rider is getting a little old now, and with the release of the Tyrant, I have to put the Rider away and focus on him now. This does not do away with Arcanis or Phantom Nishoba mind you, they have not replaced them yet, so I still have those as ‘My Cards.’

Returning to normalcy for a moment, if you have not experienced Ripple yet, you are in for a treat. For a change, Wizards did not word a mechanic or a card so that it could be good… but it is not. Ripple allows me to flip the top four cards of my library and play any card in the revealed pile that has the same name as the original spell. So by casting Surging Aether, I flip over the top four cards of my library: Boomerang, Island, Surging Aether, and Eye of Nowhere. Since there is a card in the pile called Surging Aether, I can play it for free! Oh, look, this card I just copied, Surging Aether, has Ripple 4, so I need to flip four more cards! (Note: the other three cards were put on the bottom of my library.) Etc., Etc., Land bouncing has never been so fun!

What I have done this time is played only the cards that are a Sorcery or Instant that bounce permanents. This would keep your lands and creatures at bay for a period of time. I am not too crazy to sit here and tell you that I could win the game by just doing this, but it would be fun! So what I have decided to do is increase the chances of continuing to bounce your stuff. By adding Future Sight, I can continue to rebound your stuff by playing the spells, most of them being Instants, from the top of my Library. To keep from the log jam happening where I reveal a land on top of my Library, I am playing eight ‘fetch lands’ that can search out Islands, and put them into play. This is because it will get a land out of my Library, which increases my percentage of having a spell on top of my library, and it also shuffles up the deck and will give me a new card to look at, and possibly cast.

Next, I have put two Thrumming Stones in the deck, which gives all of my spells ‘Ripple 4.’ This is the reason that almost every spell in the deck is a ‘four of’ spell. It is to capitalize on the Ripple effect. Once the Stone has reached play, casting an Eye of Nowhere suddenly goes from being bad to being a nightmare, as I could end up bouncing between one to four permanents for only UU.

You will also notice that I added Green, for one card, Seedborn Muse. Boy, if I had to pick one Green card, and trade a Blue card for it, and welcome it into the fold, I may have to offer up a few Flying creatures - just to balance out the trade, it would be for Seedborn Muse. You might be thinking, ‘but it fits in with Green better, since it is Early Harvest on legs!’ True, but check your search engines again, because Blue did it first ‘Johnny Come Lately.’ Reset, printed in Legends, untapped your lands first.

I brought Seedborn Muse into the picture because of the fact that I can unload my Library during my turn (Future Sight) and then untap during your turn, and continue throwing your stuff into your lap during your turn.

Land Destruction was never created to make friends.

Finally, to wrap it all up, I thought I would have a ‘Grand Finale!’ of deck after deck of Blue Land Destruction. I hope you enjoyed this day, the first ever ULD Day, Blue Land Destruction Day. As they say in French, keep on tapping, and keep on pillaging!

You can discuss this article in the MDV forums here.

Articles Spotlights from 2006
The Games People Play - Tactical Magic.
If I worked at R&D
The Beginner’s Guide to Rogue
Druid Week Primer
Opting In: Ravnica
MDV Idol: Finale!
Avatar Week Primer
Delusions of Mediocrity: Getting Stuffy in Here.
Raiding Ravnica: Guildmages and You!
Lands-More than Mana: Part One