Fit the Flavor Round 3 - Submit your evil

[Your Worst Nightmare]

Welcome everyone to the #3 round of Fit the Flavor!

I've heard some of you asking, "Gee YWN, what kind of amazing new twist are you going to present us this time?" I've given it a lot of thought, and finnaly settled on a convenient one. But first, a little bit of backstory.

Thanks to Shadowmoor, evilness is hip once again. There's not a living soul who hasn't said yet Shadowmoor is turning out awesome. No wonder, everybody likes evil, right? ...or do you? Every schmunk can open their yapper and say "Thing and whatnot, evil is awesomezorz!!1" Talking is easy, but when it comes to facts, NO ONE likes evil! You're all just a bunch of hypocrits!

And that's exactly the new twist in this round of Fit the Flavor - There is no twist!

All you people who said liked being evil and stuff - HOW DO YOU LIKE IT NOW?? NOT SO FUNNY WHEN PEOPLE GET EVIL ON YOUR HEINIE, HEH?


That ought to teach you kids a lesson. The only thing you're supposed to do here is Fit the Flavor! And you're lucky you still have three flavors to choose from. I wasn't going to give you the pleasure, but the other two judges were adamant about it. They'll suffer over it soon enough...


Your crappy cards will be judged on a set rubric out of 26.
/10 pts - Adherence to Flavor
/5 pts - Card Balance (proper casting cost, power level, etc)
/5 pts - Design Fundamentals (color pie, tribe traits, etc)
/5 pts - Creativity
/1 pts - How much the judge likes your ugly mug


The judges that will pound your behind ruthlessly this round are:
– Your Worst Nightmare
– Cashew
– Azrael Subucni
- stolin (he is on the team, but he will not do, say, or post anything at all)


And here's the stinking flavors you can design your dumb card around:

Flavor 1:
If you let your fears become your friends, they'll end up smiling at you.

Flavor 2:
"The beginning of eternity; The end of time and space; The beginning of every end and the end of every place."

Flavor 3:
"Its poison sac is said to be utterly delicious. I got my assistant to try one, but I couldn't tell if he gave it a thumbs up or down during his death spasm."
—Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar, The Underworld Cookbook


Rather annoying notes:

– You can choose which flavor text to use, but you can only submit ONE card.
- Make sure you specify which flavor text your card is based on.
- This thread is for submissions only. There will be a separate thread where you can freely discuss stuff regarding the contest.
- You can enter this contest even if you never participated in any of the previous rounds.
- Submit only text! No card rendering, no images, no links, and no mana-smilies. {2}{B}{R/G} is okay, :2mana::b::manarg: is NOT!
- Deadline for entries is 4/19/08. No additional time for editting your submission. HOW DO YOU LIKE EVIL NOW, HUH??
- And the single most important rule of this contest - DIE SOMEPLACE ELSE!


Official crap:
Fit the Flavor counts for the MSS. Scoring works as follows:
Points awarded = [Number of contestants] * 1.5 - ([Your placement] - 1) * 1.5

Got it? Me neither. So get yourself a calculator and do the math! What I do know is that the more people enter this contest, the greater chance you have of losing! So gather all your enemies and rejoice upon their failure!

[Friend Mairsil]

Golgari Sewer Fly 2{G/B}
creature - insect {U}
flying
1{G/B}{G/B}, Sacrfice ~, Destroy target creature
2/2
"Its poison sac is said to be utterly delicious. I got my assistant to try one, but I couldn't tell if he gave it a thumbs up or down during his death spasm."
—Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar, The Underworld Cookbook


flavor text #2


Its poison sac is said to be utterly delicious. I got my assistant to try one, but I couldn't tell if he gave it a thumbs up or down during his death spasm
may card is built off the idea that the golgari feed the entire city of ravnica, thus the cookbook part. death by this insect must come from his death, thus again the sac part.i wasnt sure how i was going to fit the thumb up or down part, so i guess it just up to you to give it thumbs up or thumbs down. i perfer up, but who knows ;)

[Ryuzaki]

[color=DimGray]I think I prefer YWN making these threads. I know what flavor I'm using.

This will be fun. :D

*EDIT*

Entry:

Playful Bargain 2RRR

Sorcery

Target opponent may have any number of creatures they control deal X damage to you where X is half its power, rounded down. Gain control of each creature that dealt damage to you this way. (This effect doesn't end at end of turn.)

"If you let your fears become your friends, they'll end up smiling at you."

I just changed my entry, and I'm a lot more satisfied with it than I was beforehand, very happy. I finally translated the "let" clause of the flavor-text which was giving me trouble. I let the opponent choose how many creatures dealt damage to you so you could let your fears become your friends by hurting you. Tough love, that is. End up smiling at you because after the "tough love" they're on your side and now they're your friends.

[Luthervamplord]

Living Nightmares 3BB
Sorcery
Discard your hand. For each card discarded this way, put a 3/2 Black Spirit token into play.
If you let your fears become your friends, they'll end up smiling at you.

[3nd3r]

Evil!?!? you don't know 3v1l!!!

Apostle of Ender 4WB- Rare
Creature- Cleric

When Apostle of Ender comes into play destroy all other creatures in play. They can't be regenerated.

When a creature is sent to the graveyard while Apostle of Ender is in play, remove it from the game instead.

"The beginning of eternity; The end of time and space; The beginning of every end and the end of every place."
2/2

oh and the answer is "E".

[Maleficent]

Big Bang 4RRRR
Enchantment (Rare)
When Big Bang comes into play, remove all permanents, hands, graveyards and libraries from the game. Each player may add X mana of any one color to his or her mana pool during his or her next main phase, where X is the number of nontoken permanents removed this way.
Players do not lose the game for not being able to draw cards.
Each player may play any card he or she owns outside of the game.
"The beginning of eternity; The end of time and space; The beginning of every end and the end of every place."

Based off the formula E=mc^2, where E stands for Energy. In order to release the energy from, say, a cup of water, which has a massive amount of energy in it, you must completely annihilate it. So, remove everything and get energy (mana).

Also, it's the end of everything existing, and the beginning of everything yet to come.

Hm, an experiment:

E
Sorcery (Rare)
If E is in your opening hand, you may begin the game by playing it without paying its mana cost.
Target player sacrifices a nonland permanent. You may put a permanent with the same converted mana cost as the sacrificed permanent into play.
Epic
"The beginning of eternity; The end of time and space; The beginning of every end and the end of every place."

(Props to whoever came up with that one. ^^)

[Michael_Zeora]

Origin Point
Legendary Land
When this comes into play it gains "At the end of this turn, pay {6} or sacrifice Origin point." until the end of your turn.
Players cannot play Lands
Players skip there Upkeep Phase.
at the beginning of your precombat main phase sacrifice a land.
"The beginning of eternity; The end of time and space; The beginning of every end and the end of every place."

[Robb]

Rattlesnake Time bomb {4}- R

Legendary Artifact- Snake

At the beginning of your upkeep, put a time counter on Rattlesnake Time bomb.
If Rattlesnake Time bomb has 5 or more time counters on it, you may remove them and give target player 1 poison counter.
Sacrifice a creature- put a time counter on Rattlesnake Time bomb.

"Its poison sac is said to be utterly delicious. I got my assistant to try one, but I couldn't tell if he gave it a thumbs up or down during his death spasm"

[Tynion]

Ark of the Alpha
Legendary Artifact - 6
Indestructible
Cumulative Upkeep: Return a non-artifact permanent you control to its owner’s hand.

XT: Return X permanent’s to their owners hand, where X is the number of age counters on ~.

When ~ leaves play, you lose X life, where X is the number of age counters on ~.

"The beginning of eternity; The end of time and space; The beginning of every end and the end of every place."

[Zaknifa]

Realm of Torture 3BB
Enchantment
XBB,Tap: Remove target creature from the game for X turns, at the end of the last turn return it to play under it's owners control with X -1/-1 counters.
"The beginning of eternity; The end of time and space; The beginning of every end and the end of every place."

Reason:

The beginning of eternity: you stay for what will be an eternity in hell, so any time you go through constant torture it would feel like an eternity.
The End of time and space: when you are in great pain you forget about all other ideas or concepts expect survival.
The beginning of every end and the end of every place: The beginning of the end (entering the realm) the end of every place(you forget about past life, and when you return you are no longer the same person you once were and are unable to regain your life, if you survive)

[12q34e]

Oozing Beetle 1BB
Creature - Insect
~ comes into play with three -1 -1 counters
When ever a creature deals damage you may remove a -1 -1 counter from ~ If you do put a -1-1 counter on that creature
When ~ is put into a graveyard from play put three -1 -1 counters on each creature you don't control
5/5

"Its poison sac is said to be utterly delicious. I got my assistant to try one, but I couldn't tell if he gave it a thumbs up or down during his death spasm."
—Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar, The Underworld Cookbook

[GG Crono]

For Flavor Text #3:

Witherfang Tarantula 1BG
Creature - Spider
Deathtouch, Poisonous 1
1BG, Sacrifice Witherfang Tarantula, T: Target player gets two poison counters.
1/3
"Its poison sac is said to be utterly delicious. I got my assistant to try one, but I couldn't tell if he gave it a thumbs up or down during his death spasm."
—Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar, The Underworld Cookbook

[final_press]

Disciple of the Great Deceiver
B1
Creature - Human Cleric (Uncommon)
B, T: Target creature with power two or less you control gains +1/+0 and fear until end of turn.
B, Q: Target creature an opponent controls becomes black until end of turn. (Q is the untap symbol)

2/1

If you let your fears become your friends, they'll end up smiling at you.



I love me my black evasion, i do!! XD

[ShaKadelic]

Treason 2(U/B)(U/B)
Enchantment (R)
At the beginning of target opponents upkeep, this opponent reveals his hand. Choose a creature card from it and put it into play under your opponents control. It gains haste.
At the end of turn, gain control of it.

If you let your fears become your friends, they'll end up smiling at you.


I fear ugly, big creatures smashing my face. But if i invite them, maybe i can convince them to do some betrayal. :)

[ThunderHog]

Spot reserved...

Honestly, I'm having absolutely NO sparks of inspiration from ANY of these flavor texts, so the card I make is probably going to end up being bad. But hey, I'm not going to win the MSS by dodging contests - every point counts!

Edit Alright, here goes nothing... (I bet no one expected Flavor Text 1 to fit on a white card.) XD

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Frightful Wish - {2}{W}
Sorcery
Choose a red or black card you own from outside the game, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. Remove Frightful Wish from the game.
If you let your fears become your friends, they'll end up smiling at you.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

White's enemy colors are black and red. Basically, it can be construed to where the basic color of white fears both black and red. With this Wish, if you choose to embrace those fears, you will be rewarded.

[Cashew]

Deadline entry is today get them.